I've been a cow to get ahold of as of late, so many apologies if anyone has been trying (and hey, e-mail me, I check it like 3+ times a day). I'm heading off right now to help Amanda take care of Kass' kiddles while she's busy, then I'm having dindin with Jason and Annie, then onto Ministry.
I've got lots to do, both school, werewolf, and life-wise so I would expect this level of activity and business not to abate.
ÂWell, what do we know from this? First thing is, workers are being screwed, thereÂs no way around that.  Prof. Eshwaran
Man, this class is awesome.
Alright, onto the topic everyone is wondering about...
I seem to have gotten my wish. Which is a strange thing to say, but nonetheless it seems to have happened. Me and Patti were sitting around, talking about the Iliad (not surprisingly I suppose) and probably my lady-troubles at the time. There's a moment of silence, and then she voices the thing that we had both just thought at the same time:
"You know what you need, Chris?"
"What?"
"You need someone that's your age or older, beautiful, and really doing something with their life."
"Isn't that a bit demanding?"
"That doesn't matter, it's what you need."
"I guess you're right."
And now, out of nowhere, comes a girl named Erin (weird, neh?) who's a thin, short-haired, glasses-wearing, polyamorous, gardening nudist. She's my age exactly (born on the same day, on the same month, on the same year... possibly even the same hour, I have to double check with my mom) and the other person she's dating has the same name as me. The collection of coincidences is even longer, but you get the idea.
The strangest part is that there was no chase. And how I love the chase. But instead, it just.... happened. One minute I was so depressed that I could barely function and then poof, I'm in a relationship with someone I had never met before. We didn't even really talk about it, we met and just fell into a groove, kinda looking around after a certain point and saying "Oh, hey. would you lookat that?".
I'm still really sore and raw inside from my last womanly interactions, which means that I'm still very scared about the idea of being with someone. But for once, I feel like I've just added someone to my life and my plate just got bigger. Like their addition didn't have to change anything else about my life, it just... added. Now there is more to enjoy, but nothing else has to move out of the way or shift. Chris plus plus, now with object oriented coding capabilities (that's a Tim homage).
Now if only I could figure out how to get some sleep...
Once again, I approach the end of Homer's first epic, the tale of the wrath of Achilles. Blood and gore, passion and love, hate and pain, each page speaks deeper of the tragedy and glory of war and the brutality of death. I'm kinda sad, because I don't want to just read it again, but there is really nothing like it.
While in England, me and Meg talked about the greek epics quite a bit. There was even a point when the only books we were carrying around for "light reading" were "The Iliad", "The Oddessey", and the "Pocket Classical Dictionary". The fact this occurred in Oxford was even more amusing. We talked about which characters were closest to ourselves, and I felt that she really should read the Oddessey because the very idea of Odesseus, that of "doing the absolute best with what you have" seemed to be something Meg needed to understand in herself. Then we bandied about the idea that I was like Paris or Hektor, either a creature of reoccuring infatuations or of someone fighting an insurmountable war that must be fought.
But, recently, since my return, I got to talking with Patti. She thinks I am more like Achilles and I tend to agree. There is a part of me that rebels against that, a bit that says "saying you're like Achilles is arrogant" because that's what my classics teacher always said. But I am someone who follows my own moral code, despite what anyone else might think. I am someone who feels so deeply that I will do so against all opposition, and that for all my epic qualities, I have epic faults as well. Blameless Langmuirian Christoph. I even am good friends with great-hearted Quintonian Angus the spear famed. The Aias for my Achilles.
Anyways, I'm rambling. I love the Iliad. Love it to pieces.
*stumble*
*slip*
*trip*
*fall*
I seem to be in a relationship.
Who knew?
Well, my planned mushroom adventure went off last night. It mostly happened because of Tyler being in town, chances are I wouldn't have done it for a couple more weeks if the Cowtownman wasn't about, but he's a big shrooms fan too, so we stepped up the timeline to include him.
I'm not a big drug person: most synth drugs scare the crap out of me, and pot is just kinda... well, lame... Don't have anything against people who do it, but it just doesn't float my boat. Shrooms on the other hand are like being drunk with hallucinations and no hangover (and, if you do it right, you actually get a reverse hangover, which is awesome).
So it was good: me, Tyler, Tim, and Angus all got ourselves way more hallucinogenics than we actually needed and proceeded to get fucked out of our minds. It was great.
I've been pretty upset since Mabon, haven't really attended school or done anything really useful. However, upside is that I've been able to see alot of Tyler, who's in from Cow-town (AKA Calgary, home of my beloved Flames). He's been really sweet and is the source of much of my good mood as of late.
Thursday I went to Ryan's prequel to his LARP "Wrapped in Grey". It was incredible. One line sums up how amazing that event was: "And the world will end in a whimper, not a bang." Very incredible.
Friday I went to Radioactive with Tyler and others as his "I'm back in town for a bit" party. He's having a string of those :) Anyways, I actually really enjoyed myself and saw a bunch of people I don't get to see very often (at least socially speaking). Most notably of these was Danny, who's an old friend of Amanda's. Also spent a good chunk of my time with this señorita named Cristal, who will probably join all you filthy lurkers shortly after she gets my e-mail address from Tyler >( Haha, j/k, I love you filthy little lurkers.
Talked to Tristan, that was good. Tristan's not doing so great: his best friend just died due to pneumonia complications. Worst part is this is the second good friend he's had to bury, for someone under 25 that's rough. Tristan's doing the eulogy probably *looks at watch* right now. I really hope he's ok. Alot of the reason I'm going to Sanctuary on Sunday is to see him and just... I dunno... be there.
Today is the first day that I'm going to actually miss classes, its 11:30am and I'm not even remotely prepared to leave my house. Given that I have to leave, well, now, to get to classes on time, it doesn't look so good. Patti's Mabon was really good: the food was amazing, it was throughly drunken and revelrous, and there was just enough reverence thrown into the mix. I can't quite figure out if I'm still inebriated, or hungover, or what... But I'm certainly something.
Just attended Patti's Mabon, it was really good. A suitable mix between religion and festivity. I'm drunk... but not nearly enough. I don't think a level of drunk exists that is enough right now. I joked with Meg on the way home that maybe I should take up heroin, maybe that would be enough.
I don't understand how my life could be going so well, yet I'm so incredibly miserable. Why do I do this to myself? Why do we do things and feel things that just upset us?
Is acknowledging my presence really that much to ask?
I have this little fear, it's an odd one too. I think it springs out of my inability to believe that this place is actually mine. Often, when starring into space, laying on my couch, I jolt up wondering "Where am I? Whose house is this?" and even though I know the answer almost immediately, I'm not sure I fully believe it. But anyways, onto the tiny fear....
I sometimes put the chain on the front door. Not for extra security, but because I'm afraid my roommate will come home in the night, and if the chain is there, even though this person would have keys to my house, they won't be able to come in.
I don't have a roommate.
Goodnight.
One of the peculiar things about the 99 Non-stop is the fact that seats are such tremendously attractive real estate. Unlike any other bus that IÂve ever ridden before, seats are very valuable. YÂsee, on even another kind of express bus, getting a seat isnÂt as big a deal because there is always the possibility of gaining a seat along the way. However, on the non-stop, since the only two stops are the beginning and the end, not getting a seat means you wonÂt end up getting one at all. That concept is kinda daunting, especially if youÂre tired or cranky, given that UBC to BWay Skytrain is a pretty lengthy journey.
Wow, yesterday was a lost day. Hung out with Meghan, went home, fell asleep at 7pm. Man, I'm broken. Saturday was the "day of intense conversations". I thought there was a limit to those kinda things, but, just when I thought I was done... Another one jumped out of nowhere and ambushed me. Yeesh, between Navi's, Patti's, Meghan's, Angus', and random ones that fly outta left field, I hardly have time for my own :-)
I've got so much Garou and School stuff to do it's kinda daunting. And, once again, every single night this week is full of something, and I still don't have time to go to a storyteller's guild meeting. And there isn't even a Co-op meeting either. Today I'm going to go with Patti so she can talk to Tristan. Tomorrow I'm going to Piotr's dinner. Wednesday is Patti's Mabon. Thursday is helping Ryan with Wrapped in Grey. Friday is Tyler's party. Gahhh.
I think I've come down with something. Not supringly, given how I've been treating my body. Low energy, running nose, drowsiness, poor mood, etc. I'm feeling pretty low key right now.
Last night I went to bed at like 8. I meant to go see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with Meg, but Meg was the slow, which meant we were late. All for the better, I was probably falling asleep at the same time the show would have been letting out. So many people called. The only person who I actually managed to answer the phone for was Tim. Apparently I missed a free Sir Kutz set, which is sad, but I wasn't able to leave my house. I wonder how coherent I was. I know Patti also called, and then some other people, but I didn't get the phone in time. At approx midnight, I just unplugged the phone. Woke up some 8-9 hours later.
Still feeling run down, not feeling like I'm making much sense. I'm done.
So I saw the god of DnB and his hierophant MC Conrad. It was amazing. I'm really tired, didn't get to bed before 4am, but man, was it stunning. Conrad is an incredible MC and LTJ is just so chill in his unrelenting assault of what me, niko, and mongoose dubbed "Funky Jungle". I didn't stop dancing the entire set, even though I was stuck on this stair squished between people, I never stopped dancing. It was great.
Oh and on another note, I'm on the board of directors of the UBC Food Co-op now. Sounds alot more important than it really is, I'm only a "member/director at large" which means I attend meetings and bring up issues that I think the Co-op should be addressing. It's really awesome, they opened up a fair-trade/organic/perfect store in the SUB that's an extention of the Co-op called "Sprouts". I love it. The most significantly weird thing about being part of the Co-op is that I'm one of, like, three guys, tops, out of a group of like, 15+. The dynamic is very weird, but one I look forward to dissecting further.
Had a really bizarre dream last night. I'm pretty sure it occurred in someplace that looked like Patti and Robin's place (go back 7 years for that one in my memory). So Dominic and Vanessa and Tim (I think) are on the futon, talking, while me, Amanda, and Paul are sitting on the floor leaning against it. I'm really tired and I'm nodding off (yes, exhaustion is following me even into my dreams), but I decide that making out with Amanda would be a great idea. In my tired state, I don't realise that this is my ex, I actually just thought it was some cute girl I hadn't met before. Then we stop and her and Paul give each other this weird look and I realise what I just did. Amanda then says some humourous statement as to "Well, that brings up a topic that's been on my mind as of late" and then Paul and Amanda start talking about their relationship and how shaky it's been. Apparently some guy named "Sam" has been going to Amanda's family functions more than Paul, and Amanda's feeling like they aren't really that together anymore (exemplified by the fact that I made out with her and it didn't seem to be a big deal). I feel like I'm supposed to be a part of this discussion, but I'm really tired, don't have anything to say (mostly because the situation is so ruddy weird) and frankly don't want to be there. Vanessa (or was it Navi?) says something like "Chris is really tired, he should go home" and then, I wake up.
Weeeeeiiiiiirrrrd.
Went to Piotr's dinner last night, helped him make hand-made perogies. So good.
Sometimes I wonder what my parents think when they do my laundry (y'know, when I get migraines, or when I leave some laundry there that I didn't finish and they do it along theirs, I'm not implying that I don't do my own laundry, that's for 12 year olds), and what's in it. Do they wonder why I have dresses in my laundry? Do they assume it is for LARP or some other similar activity? I mean, my parents are great at rationalisation, it's not like they'd care if they knew it was for a fetish night, I'm more curious what they do think given evidence yet no explanation...
On that exact same note, I'm a little bummed about having to miss the Halloween Sin City because of the Moot. Ah well...
Wow, exhaustion is bad. Ok, we need some backstory to make this make sense...
Friday - Suffice it to say, my weekend was really really busy. My own fault, as usual, I didn't make things much better. It was a werewolf weekend so it's pretty crazy already, without throwing in the extra madness . I started by watching Super Size Me late friday night at the FilmSoc. Excellent flick, strongly advise everyone go see it. That means I don't get alot of sleep.
Saturday - Invite Meg over for breakfast, we work on my dreds (not to much success, but we managed to do some tip work, even though we couldn't deal with fly-aways), then she leaves. I start working on DT (because I've been really busy and haven't quite managed to finish, no surprises before werewolf on sunday, but still, it needs to be done). Find out that I have to move my LARP session earlier to make things function (yay, even less sleep!). Ryan, Ashley, and Mike show up for 7 and we start working on their characters. That goes until, like 10 or so. I then decide that I'm still going to go to Sin City. Normally I wouldn't have (given that I need sleep to function), but I had this great idea for an outfit and this girl I know named Arial asked if I was coming. I'm a sucker for people asking if I'm going to something, so I go. Well, I wait in line and don't end up getting in until, like, midnight. Waiting in line to get in I see bunches of people I know leaving (sigh), including Ray, Dawn and crew (got to talk to them, that was nice), and then I see Emily leaving. Now, for those of you no in the know, Emily is possibly one of the most beautiful people I know right now, if not the most beautiful. Plus, I'm a huge sucker for wings. Well, she's leaving wearing red faerie wings... and I missed it. That pains me. When I finally get in, Meg and co are there, but Meg's a wreck so she leaves right away. So I end up spending most of the night alone. I end up seeing Leif and Adrian too, but Leif's weird and... well, Adrian's great, but I still feel pretty lonely alot of the night. I get complemented on my dancing again (I'm told I'm one of the greatest dancers someone has ever seen at least once every two weeks, at least I'm good at something... oh, you didn't hear that...) and I spend most of the night gazing longingly at the dred-brigade (all so gorgeous). I end up telling the guy with the dred-hawk that he's positively gorgeous before wandering drunkenly (or maybe more like sleep deprivedly and mildly soberly) into the night and home. I get three-four hours of sleep, tops.
Sunday - I wake up, make myself food, drink fuckloads of organic Darjeeling, manage to finish everything Garou-y, and head off. Meet up with John, brag about my outfit last night, do a bunch of hacky sacking (my new hack is so nice, hemp with slightly heavy sand-fill, so good). Run werewolf. Goes phenomenally, even with Colin's absence and all the headache that went into that particular session. Then go for pizza, Colin shows up, eat organic pizza (lots). Then I get home at 9:00ish. Phone Meg, make stupid decision to go to Sanctuary (which means I need to be somewhere by 10:00pm now). To be fair, the decision is mostly out of a desire to see Patti and Tristan, as well as hoping to see Arial and Emily (I missed out the previous night). I'm starting to hallucinate I'm so tired (lights are growing and shrinking, tracers abound) but I go anyways. It's good to see the P and the T, and Patti's got her purse back (weird story, might write about it later, fucking bizarre). And I see Arial, end up talking to Silvia (Arial's friend) but don't manage to get the nerve up to talk to Arial. Then Arial and this lesbian chic are hanging out together and I sit dumbfounded. What the fuck is with me and lesbian chics?
Monday - Manage to both go to school, get all my textbooks, eat, and take in most of the knowledge, and get my laundry to my parents', despite my extreme exhaustion. If only I knew the pain to come...
I'm at my parent's, eating dinner, and I totally break down. My mom thinks it was a migraine, although I'm pretty sure that's not possible, but it did have exactly the same symptomology. Fall asleep holding my head at like 8 or something, wake up 13 hours later. I feel better but... weird. Mental note - SLEEP!