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December 29, 2004

The Real Holiday

Taking it real easy, spending entire days not really going outside (that's bad, I really should get out), being really anti-social (that's good, I needed alone time soooooo badly), playing Legacy of Kain: Defiance religiously (fuck, it's so amazing, best LoK game ev0r), and putting the finishing touches on the new Werewolf system (such a work of sublime beauty).

Some crazy shit happened this christmas like getting $2K from my grandfather. Still reeling from that one. I failed Stats, which wasn't unexpected but is still annoying. No other grades in, still very curious what I got for all my fourth year courses.

Stuff is good, sleeping alot, getting up early. Man, I needed this so badly.

School again on Tuesday, seems really surreal that it's that soon.

December 25, 2004

Happy Xmas

Wow, someone designed an algorithim to post relatively pretentious quotes in all my blog entries.

December 23, 2004

House of Flying Daggers

I've said this on other online forums, but I feel it needs to be said again: House of Flying Daggers is incredible. It's not only a good kung-fu/legendary/set-in-china's-past movie, but it's a good movie outside of that context. It's excellent.

December 21, 2004

Done

FAAAAAACK, I'm so glad it's over. 441 went. No great victory, no great loss, I hope I pass the course. If I don't fail a single course this semester, I will consider it a gift, a truly wonderous gift.

Ran into Matt Gibsons on the way home, went for East is East after running around trying to find a copy of Apocalypse Now on DVD for my dad (still haven't suceeded, I've been aiming for used or non-conglomorate, so it's been hard). Food was divine, truly divine. Was exactly what I needed.

Now I'm going to try and gather the energy to go to Patti's Yule party. So tired world is blurry, but I'll try.

Almost Done

Final at 3:30, I'm feeling pretty stoked. Currently listening to Jungle Volume 9.5 by DJ Pegasus. It's nifty, and it's nice to listen to music that makes me wanna bounce around and dance for hours. I got together with my TA yesterday and I feel much more competant than I did a few days ago. Not still fully prepped, but still not as nauseatingly worried as I was before. There's some stuff about his workers/landlords/capitalists consuming grain/textiles/automobiles model that I don't fully follow, but that was pre-midterm stuff so hopefully those questions won't be too hard. I'm also hoping that the math question is both a) one I know and b) one I remember. This crapshoot for math-questions is kinda annoying. Explain some other time.

Me, 5 questions, 2 hours. I plan on leaving that arena the victor, I just hope I do so without that much agony.

Oh, I got 70 (B-) in my Macro class. On one hand, that's the lowest grade I've ever gotten on an Econ class, but on the other my grade was based on two things: one midterm and one final. And I failed the first thing, so it must mean I did pretty good on the final ;P

Still waiting on all ther other marks. SUPER curious as to what I got on them.

Soon, after the victorious battle, I shall repose.

December 19, 2004

Cheap

Whoa, just went to safeway. How I walked out with 150g of baby spinach and 1 litre of happy planet for $7 after tax. Now I normally don't buy from large conglomorates (their buying power doesn't help consumers or society, it just allows them to extract larger rents from the population with their relative monopoly power) but to get either of these anywhere else would have cost me more than buying both. Which is hyper cool. Not only am I probably buying something that would otherwise be thrown away (why else would they be selling below cost?) but I also get yummy foods for cheap.

Yay.

Really Rundown

Man, this regular decimation of body is getting old. The irony is that it was all caused by being sick and run-down. Wooooo, vicious cycle: I got sick and now have to make up for lost time, so I work really hard and feel bad, possibly even getting sick again. Grrr.

Friday was my stats final, as mentioned earlier, then friday night was the ST Guild Holiday Party which I hosted, and then saturday was the family carol sing (such a travesty, so wonderful). But I am *beat*. Slept for like 10-12 hours last night and I still feel positively run-over, almost like a hangover. Wouldn't have missed either of those events for the world but I feel so broken. Plus side is that my house is shiny and clean (which means so much to me).

Last final is on tuesday, progress of economic development, haven't studied for it at all so far. Have to get back into high gear again, one last time this year, but I'm not sure I have it in me. Not that I have a choice in the matter :P

Anyways, on tuesday is freedom and Patti's Yule party, then also going cool stuff with Erin's family on thursday and then Xmas on the weekend with parents. Oh, sweet holiday, I crave thee. Not like I won't work my ass off (all that free time? I smell downtime rules rewrite!), but at least if I'm feeling like this I can decide to not do anything. That's gonna be sweet.

December 17, 2004

I just don't know

I'm done. Well, not necessarily, but I'm at least finished the final. I just don't know. I know I didn't do stellar, but at the same time I'm not sure how well I did. Probably not well enough to not have her fail me just because (whereas a really stellar grade would have forced her to pass me). But for the life of me I just don't know.

I really hope somehow, magically, I pass this course. I think I passed the final, think I even did ok, but I'm not sure of anything.

*sigh* I can almost hear my summer dissapearing. On the 21st I'll know for certain. Man, I don't like the feeling of dread. I wish I could say "Well, for better or worse, it's done". It's more like "If I get lucky, it's done, but otherwise I get to be raped, summer semester-style".

God damnit.

So Close

Less than 4 hours of sleep, been up since 3:30am, sooooo close.... can taste it. Stupid class.....

Hypothesis testing is finally coming together, I'm waiting for that magic "click" when it's secure enough in my brain that it won't fall out. I pray that happens in the next hour.

Wish me luck.

December 16, 2004

Lost Precious Time

Was going really well, only 2 and a half chapters left to learn (estimators and hypothesis testing, that's about it) but then my brother got in to my parents' house and dinner happened. Lost two hours, don't have that time to lose. Now back at my place, solitude, precious solitude.

I really hope I can manage to learn all this stuff in time.

PS Thank you Safeway for having a sale on happy planet, thank you.

Fuck you stupid stats class

That's right, fuck you, you stupid fucking fuck.

I swear, if I manage to pull a good grade out of my ass, I am so going to write a study guide for this class. Why? Because it wouldn't fill more than five pages. Fuck, most of the work for this fucking class has been finding what I need to know. Sell those fuckers to the next year students for a twoonie a piece because that's what this fucking class is worth.

*pant* *pant* *pant*

Ok, I'm going back to learning now.

Rather Surreal Experience

So I'm printing up past stats exams at my parents', and I'm looking for some scrap paper to print them up on (no need to use new paper). Well, I stumble across something bizarre. A book of shadows. Now, note that this is at my parents' place, so I didn't come to that conclusion right away. But there it is, a hand-made binder of sorts made with hand-made hard paper (like cardboard, only not) cover with leaves pressed into it and this big ol' silver pentagram on the front. Out of intense curiosity as to what would be in this tome, I open it up and there are computer printed pages of spells written in (get this) french. My mind starts to reel at the weirdness of the find. I figure it must be some project one of her kids did, but it's still really weird.

I'll think about this later.

December 15, 2004

Head Explodes

Not only did my blackspots arrive today, but so did the notice of my successful bursary application.

Woooo! Ethical Shoes!

Woooo! Three thousand dollars!

Fuck yeah!


Oh, my high is wearing off, back to studying for stats.

December 14, 2004

Update

I missed Dominic's "Paranoids and Aliens" party on Satuday. Which makes me sad. But it was 11:30pm when I was finally done all the Garou stuff I needed to get done and I needed to be at site at 10:30am in the morning. Sleep won the battle in that round.

Garou on Sunday was pretty spectacular. It was strange, but very good. Erin played her first session and I'm glad she's trying it out, even though it's often very daunting for her (who has only MUSHed) I think she adds alot to the troupe. Got some good RP in myself, as well as facilitating some pretty cool political and spiritual developments. Yup yup. Definately no complaints.

Afterwards we went for afters at East is East and almost everyone came. Well, in the end 8 people went but that's a large turnout for afters. Erin thinks it's because you end so early (no later than 4) because of the lack of light. It was really neat, I haven't had a good afters in a while and I enjoyed it alot.

Then monday I saw Sky Captain and Team America at the Hollywood. I wasn't willing to pay full price for Sky, and wasn't willing to pay anything for Team, so a 4$ double bill worked out great. Sky dropped the ball in the first half, and while it was very very pretty, it could have been done much better. New medium, hopefully it gets used again, probably not though :( Team America was terrible. The only bits I really found amusing were related to puppetry as a medium. Bizarre medium pardodies have been done so much better, I'd rather watch "Meet the Feebles" than Team America any day. I wouldn't mind if Team America had never made it to screen.

Erin got this Cajenta stuff, it's a mexican desert spread that's basically caramelised goat's milk. (yes, of course it's certified organic) Man, the stuff is like sex. I mean, I think Nutella is the shittiest shit the shitter ever shat, but this stuff is fantastic. Especially on cooked until they are crispy tortillas. *drool* Gonna have some right now.

Um, I'm studying for Statistics right now. It goes, hopefully I can manage to get my mind to genius about this topic by friday. I'm also really quite concerned about 441 (progress of economic development) because there's alot to cover that I don't know. *sigh* Might mean no Marcella's Yule party.

At least I know I can attend Patti's Yule party, it's on the 21st, after my last exam. Sweet sweet freedom.

December 10, 2004

Running Out of Time

Hurmph, Garou is on Sunday and I was hoping to have everything done by today.

Hurmph.

Hopefully I'll have everything done in time to make it to Dom's party. Urrrnnnn. So much work.

Off to bed, get back to it tomorrow.

My Favourite Passage From The Silmarillion

Now news came to Hithlum that Dorthonion was lost and the sons of Finarfin overthrown, and that the sons of Feanor were driven from their lands. Then Fingolfin beheld (as it seemed to him) the utter ruin of the Noldor, and the defeat beyond redress of all their houses; and filled with a wrath and despair he mounted upon Rochallor his great horse and rode forth alone, and none might restrain him. He passed over Dor-nu-Fauglith like a wind amid the dust, and all that beheld his onset fled in amaze, thinking that Orome himself was come: for a great madness of rage was upon him, so that his eyes shone like the eyes of the Valar. Thus he came alone to Angband's gates, and he sounded his horn, and smote once more upon the brazen doors, and challenged Morgoth to come forth to single combat. And Morgoth came.

That was the last time in those wars that he passed the doors of his stronghold, and it is said that he took not the challenge willingly; for though his might was greatest of all things in the world, alone of the Valar he knew fear. But he could not now deny the challenge before the face of his captains; for the rocks rang with the shrill music of Fingolfin's horn, and his voice came keen and clear down into the depths of Angband; and Fingolfin named Morgoth craven, and lord of slaves. Therefore Morgoth came, climbing slowly from his subterranean throne, and the rumour of his feet was like thunder underground. And he issued forth clad in black armour; and he stood before the King like a tower, iron-crowned, and his vast shield, sable unblazoned, cast a shadow over him like a stormcloud. But Fingolfin gleamed beneath it like a star; for his mail was overlaid with silver, and his blue shield was set with crystals; and he drew his sword Ringil, that glittered like ice.

Then Morgoth hurled aloft Grond, the Hammer of the Underworld, and swung it down like a bolt of thunder. But Fingolfin sprang aside, and Grond rent a mighty pit in the earth, whence smoke and fire darted. Many times Morgoth essayed to smite him, and each time Fingolfin leaped away, as lightning shoots from under a dark cloud; and he wounded Morgoth with seven wounds, and seven times Morgoth gave a cry of anguish, whereat the hosts of Angband fell upon their faces in dismay, and the cries echoed in the Northlands.

But at last the King grew weary, and Morgoth bore down his shield upon him. Thrice he was crushed to his knees, and thrice again he bore up his broken shield and stricken helm. But the earth was all rent and pitted about him, and he stumbled and fell backward before the feet of Morgoth; and Morgoth set his left foot upon his neck, and the weight of it was like a fallen hill. Yet with his last and desperate stroke Fingolfin hewed the foot with Ringil, and the blood gushed forth black and smoking and filled the pits of Grond.

Thus died Fingolfin, High King of the Noldor, most proud and valiant of the Elven-kings of old. The Orcs made not boast of that duel at the gate; neither do the Elves sing of it, for their sorrow is too deep. Yet the tale of it is remembered still, for Thorondor King of Eagles brought the tidings to Gondolin, and to Hithlum afar off. And Morgoth took the body of the Elven-king and broke it, and would cast it to his wolves; but Thorondor came hasting from his eyrie among the peaks of the Crissaegrim, and stooped upon Morgoth and marred his face. The rushing of the wings of Thorondor was like the noise of the winds of Manwe, and he seized the body in his might talons, and soaring suddenly above the darts of the Orcs he bore the King away. And he laid him upon a mountain-top that looked from the north upon the hidden valley of Gondolin; and Turgon coming built a high cairn over his father. No Orc dared ever after to pass over the mount of Fingolfin or draw high his tomb, until the doom of Gondolin was come and treachery was born among his kin. Morgoth went ever halt of one foot after that day, and the pain of his wounds could not be healed; and in his face was the scar that Thorondor made.

Great was the lamentation in Hithlum when the fall of Fingolfin became known, and Fingon in sorrow took the lordship of the house of Fingolfin and the kingdom of the Noldor; but his young son Ereinion (who was after named Gil-galad) he sent to the Havens.

December 9, 2004

Rocked It

Sorry about the late post, I haven't been wired for a bit. Been working frantically on Garou stuff. Soooo much work. But, I did the Comparative Economic Systems final and...

I rocked it, I decimated it, I annihilated it...

Before me there was once a test, but now a huge swath of desolation cut by my pen, the questions drowned in the ink of my volumous magnificent prose.

Lo, and all was laid to burnination.

TROGDOR!

Uh, I mean, yeah. I wrote three booklets worth (diagrams too, to be fair). One booklet per answer/essay (depends what you want to call it). Not a single word was wasted, not a single word. It was only a two hour test and I wrote more than any test prior. Heck, I didn't even know I could write that fast, and it felt so leisurely.

My hand didn't even hurt afterwards, maybe that's stress induced?

Anyways, feeling really good about it.

Now, Garou, and the two more scary (scary as in I have to do well) finals coming up in the next two weeks.

Onwards! To victory!

December 8, 2004

Short Gap

I just realised something, my last final ended 18 hours before my next one starts. Is that allowed? Probably not, but whatever, I wouldn't change it even if I could. Hopefully I'm ready, it starts in a few minutes. In I go.

My Head, My Brains....

My head fills full to bursting. So much knowledge. And I'm not even sure it's enough, I've only scratched the surface of everything we've learned about soviet, chinese, and transition economics. But he said specialise, I know what I know pretty ruddy well. I can only hope it's enough.

To victory!

December 7, 2004

Final One Done, Blade Swag Earned

Did Honours, have no idea how well I did. Damn his multiple choice questions are hard. I think I did pretty good on the long answers though.

Went to Blade Trinity, couldn't resist, it was right there, didn't have to bus anywhere or pay any money, or.... As an added bonus, not only was it bladetastic (it was a blade movie, in that it delivered very well, which made me happy) but I also won Blade swag. Nifto-keen.

Okie, I'm going to eat/study/sleep now.

I have 487 at Noon tomorrow, wish me luck again!

First Final Today

Economics 305 - Honours Intermediate Macroeconomics One

I feel pretty good about this test. I better, I've studied harder for this one than anything before in my life. Wish me luck.

December 5, 2004

Soviet Proverb

"They pretend to pay us, so we pretend to work."

December 4, 2004

Food & Music

Oh, pickels and peanut-butter, through being placed upon bread and into my belly, you grant me the strength I require.

Ah, Mozart's "The Magic Flute" just came on, so beautiful.

Last Day o Classes

Friday was both happy and sad. There was this feeling like "Wooooo! No more material! Only 3 more days until my first final, woooo!" Ok, so it wasn't quite like that, but close. On one hand I was glad that anything I could be tested on is now available to me and no more surprises, but on the other hand 75% of my courses have been some of the coolest courses I've ever had the opportunity to take. I mean they were hard, and I missed alot of them (which is sad, really) but they were really neat.

Whatever, random study-time musings. Hope everyone is doing ok. I'm school-tastic!

December 2, 2004

Left Field Wearing On Me

Urrnnn.

I'd gotten to the point where I was taking things in stride again. Even though today at school a bunch of things came up, criticising me for stuff that I just didn't have time to deal with (ie anything that isn't a final exam) and frankly didn't see coming, I still took it in stride. I was rattled a little, but I took it in stride, meeting Rick as the bus loop and laughing about it. Maybe a little edge to the humour, but I managed to keep an honest smile on my face about the whole situation. Seeing the humour where it was.

But then I headed to the ST Guild meeting and it was more of the same. Stuff flying outta left field that sat weird with me. Words that rattled stuff important to me that I frankly didn't have the head-space to devote to it. I managed to keep a straight face at the time, but now it's getting me down... The weight of the entire day of criticism being a bit too much to handle. Each event, significant, but manageable. But the entirely of them? All on topics that are important to me? Not doing so good.

A bitter taste in my mouth from the events of the day.

Nightmares

Fuck I hate nightmares. Uninterrupted sleep would be just dandy, y'know? Just woke up. I had one of my reoccuring nightmares, but this was an old one. Very "Prisoner"-esque with video cameras everywhere. Only this time it was at the end of a long dream and Erin was there. It was like I used to have this dream in greyscale and it was so colourful and crisp. I even realised it was one of my reoccuring nightmares while I was there and started totally freaking out right there in my dream. Eventually I woke up. Arg. stupid bad dreamscapes...