Post RCW Thoughts
All my totems are predators and scavengers. It doesn't matter if you believe in any form of mysticism or spirituality, it's just a convinient metaphor for describing me. To survive, you must be strong, ruthless, destroy and eat the fruits of your destruction. Anything worth doing was only ever done in great intensity, otherwise don't bother doing it. Conflict is to be determined through ritualised shows of strength within an agreed societal framework, real strife is to be utterly defeated or hidden from. Be wary of others, they might be a threat. Keep those close to you as close as possible, family, whether biological or constructed, is everything. Do not suffer weakness, even within your family unit, it will only bring you and everyone else down. Love intensely and completely, leave frivolous love to the weaklings and herbavores.
It guides my actions, my way of life, and not always for the best. It means I'm a workaholic, and that I need challenge in my life, that domination and hierarchy are necessary and good.
But sometimes, my scarred and battered soul is frustrating. I'm no longer the cub, pawing at my meal, playing with the other cublings, wide-eyed and innocent. I'm the lone predator, having left his family unit early, and am scarred and experienced for it. I regret nothing, but see the negative consequences of my actions even though I accept them.
Sometimes I wish that I could let go, and just... be with other people. Give into that herding instinct that so many people seem to have. But I keep them at arm's length, because I seem to only be good at two kinds of interactions: close and not at all. I'm charismatic and bad at dealing with people at the same time. I'm driven and without empathy for the... weakness that plagues our species. Be strong, work hard, do what you want to, give in to nothing. If you have a weakness, be stronger, overcome it. If you believe in something, fight for it, never give in. If you think something is wrong, don't do it.
But the world does not share my opinions, or feelings, or way of life. It is a herd, moving as a complex group. Social norms determine actions more often than personal desire, because the personal desire is to fit into the social norms.
If eating meat was inappropriate, no one would do it. If buying sweatshop-clothing was inappropriate, no one would do it. People want their world to function, but don't really care why or how, as long as it does. Change enough people, change the social norm, and the world will follow. Why? Because people _like_ to follow others. But not individuals, people like to follow the group.