My, you're full of angst these days...
I have this problem of being able only to describe intensity in terms of pain most of the time. Even positive things in my life, if granted the proper intensity, are alike to pain for me. And I'm stuck with this facination with the macabre that just won't go away. Blood, guts, wires, wings, angels, blades, stone, vines, and thorns. My psyche is swimming in it. Once I just wallowed in my own misery, self-mutilation to suicide, black clothes to sobbing nights alone, violence and despair. Now, I'm not unhappy, not at all, but still this theme resides in me. I really appreciate the goth aesthetic because it's close to mine.
So what do I do? Well, I run a LARP that focuses really heavily on brutal and negative things for one. And sometimes, I write.
And when I feel intensely, like when I fall in love, or when I get into honours, or when I eat something absolutely delicious, I describe it using this... method. Lightning burning it's way through my sinuses, my consciousness lifting from my eyes and pulling into my skull, my innards twisting and turning into themselves, my heart feeling full to bursting until tears start to flow. Am I describing good things or bad?
Just some thoughts in the early afternoon is all. Watched Tae Guk Gi last night, was fantastic. Really really good war film. I now have my Upass, and my driver's license is in the mail, and I got two As and a B minus. Not bad, not great either.