Kurrs' Digital Tapestry of Words

[edit]Angst removed. Greatly changed.[/edit]

Fuck it, words cannot describe my feelings anymore.

I still give up, but for entirely different reasons.

So, I think I've hit the 24 hour mark for culmulative time spent crying. This is, strangely, incredibly liberating. I rented "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and watched it alone. I must have sobbed for at least 50% of it. I needed that. I needed it back when I broke up with Erin and my brother was watching it but I couldn't bear to break down that throughly in front of anyone. I really needed it now with my self-constructed baggage castle that I'd managed to make over the last month.

My gods did I ever need to completely and utterly sink into despair for a bit. It's like scrubbing your soul clean, I feel free again.

I did dishes, I made food at home. I haven't done either of those for a week. I cleaned my house. I talked to people intelligently about Garou-stuff. I... lived. I'm "in my own skin" again as Erin would say.

As an aside, I've decided that I despise roleplayer-babble around non-gamers. Sure, if the room is 100% roleplayer, then go to. Otherwise, it's obnoxious and makes you REALLY annoying. Even to me, and I take roleplaying really seriously. It's just so... obnoxious. It'd be like talking about silly C++ stuff in front of people who aren't even interested in code. Shut-up, it's discourteous.