Kurrs' Digital Tapestry of Words

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Mom understood.

Sometimes I feel as though I have so much dishonesty to make up with her, and yet despite that she seems to always get it. As if my filters are simply absent for her, even though I have serious anger management problems she has said to me Your hand does not form naturally into a fist. I was so sad when she said that to me years ago, as I had gotten into a fight recently, but in retrospect she was right. My hands are made for building, farmer's hands, now so stupendously happy at the grueling work I put them through that they practically glow.

I came to my parents' tonight, because I felt disconnected. I hadn't told them about the assault, and I know that they'd know by now and be worried that I hadn't talked to them. I wanted to talk to them before tomorrow, my birthday, so that I could let them know everything that has happened, to get that out of the way so that tomorrow can be the celebration they and I want.

I cried in my mom's arms, I don't remember the last time I did that since I was very young. In retrospect, it was all the symptoms of an ulser and that's probably what it was. Tim used to get them when he was really little, the feeling of a little man with a knife running around your stomach. And this time, I was telling her all about my week and I got to Amanda and just burst into tears. It was nice, I'm finally starting to get to the same level of honesty with my parents as I have with the rest of the world. Even my father, which is weirding me out a bit, but is good.


I am so very thankful for the people that are really close to me. I like the fact that I can love some of them as much as I have loved anyone I have ever romantically been with and that is ok, even in the absence of desire. This is so meaningful to me, I simply do not possess the words to explain how much.

Written On: Brother's Computer
Currently Listening: Nine Inch Nails - We're In This Together Now
Music Repost: The Postal Service - Give Up (full album).rar