Kurrs' Digital Tapestry of Words

I thought of a funny way to put what's happened in my life when talking to my mother:

It is so like me, that when I need a vacation, I find a job I can bury myself in.

I'm working with a landscaping company called Badger Earthworks, and some of you will see the humour in that. I just worked my fifth day consecutively, with no foreseeable end in sight unless I specifically take a day off. It is assumed that, if you want to work, there is work to do. Many of the guys put in 10+ hour days every single day. Like most trade jobs, time and a half is a mythic thing that Union Jobs have. However, the pay is pretty damn snazzy, at $12.50/hour I have already made rent by tomorrow.

I'm happy, although fragile. The end of relationships, especially ones as complicated and intense as me and Jhayne's, always throw me into a bit of a funk. I once took a meme that asked the question Have you ever been the psycho ex? and I came to the realisation that I don't remember a time I haven't been. It fades with time, but I get a little... weird... for lack of a better term for a while.

As such, I've been avoiding large social gatherings like the plague. I spent some time hanging out with Amanda and Karen together, maybe an hour tops, and I couldn't handle it. Anything above one on one interaction with anyone in my social circle is totally taxing. Everything reminds me of things that are painful, everything causes me to become incredibly emotionally unstable. So I'll bury myself in work, not really happy unless I can barely move after at the end of the day.

And I am in a new relationship. I wonder if that officially makes me a serial monogamist. All evidence seems to point to yes, even though I'm pretty sure I'm not. Sums it up pretty well. If nothing else, my last relationship was so incredibly far from steady, normal, or even monogamous, so I think I'm safe. The inability to be alone is something that I despise, and yet, who am I so say no to someone as beautiful and wonderful as Amanda? I might write about that story, might not. Either way, it is a beautiful dance we do.

I will probably be attending the Leo Party on Saturday. That will be my attempt at interacting with large groups of my friends again, and I think it will go well. I plan to get abso-fucking-lutely shitfaced. As such, I will be asking for Sunday off.

Written On: Father's Computer
Currently Listening: Wyclef Jean - We Trying To Stay Alive (album)
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