Kurrs' Digital Tapestry of Words

Tongue tied, exhausted in all the wrong ways, numbness in a strange lack of the sense of cold, followed by a slow wash of chill and that terrible crawling feeling all over again to bring us back to familiarity. I have a grocery list of important things to say to people that I can't begin. I have a series of deadlines that move ever closer and I haven't made any progress. More than anything I'm hurt, full to the brim. I'm drowning myself in fun things, moments of joy and love to fill a void that cannot be filled.

I've become the person I hate. Hate, the word conjuring up the wrong impressions, it is more like disaproval. I have always disliked people who couldn't be happy for others' happiness when they were not so. Just because you are miserable does not mean that others must be so as well, or that their happiness somehow affronts your sadness. However, now I see others being all cute and couply and I want to vomit bloody words of venom and distaste. I want to scream explatives and cry as to the injustice of it all. I want to destroy that which to beautiful to assauge my own loss.

And I am confronted by a story that I cannot begin to wrap my head or heart around. A sense of urgency mixed with a sense of helplessness and trauma. Inaction is still an action.

Written On: Brother's Computer
Currently Listening: U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday
Currently Eating: Cucumber Slices and Cream Cheese