Kurrs' Digital Tapestry of Words

I'm cracking, pulling apart at the seams. I've been barely writing in here because of not only being so busy, but so stressed out. My head feels like it weighs so much that it is getting slowly flattened by gravity. I'm staring at a computer screen again, occasionally being only capable of putting my head on the surface in front of me and just sitting there, eyes closed.

Too much stress, it feels like the reason I'm bursting apart is containment. Too much in me, I can't keep in any more. From huge decision making to huge decision's implementation. I've gotten myself into a class and aced a quiz for that same class within a week. Fuck, no, how about two days? I've been working on getting together all the bits I need to try and get this bursary even though I technically can't. I've been organising Garou for this weekend, and truth be told that's not even done.

All I wanted to do was crawl into Beth's lap and just lie there, maybe have her stroke my head and tell me it's ok. So what if it would be juvenile, that's what I wanted. Or to wander home with her, maybe stay awake for food, and fall asleep on her couch/bed/whatever. Or call up Erin and ask her to come over and make me food. Or call Dominique and ask her to spend the night... OR ANYTHIGN BUT THIS>>F>Df FUCK< ANYTI:GFIJNAKFLJDasklj;dsa

Ok, I'm alright, I'm just really tired and stressed out and I still have this STATA assignment I should have done for midnight. I know I could get an extention, but when the fuck would I do it? Tomorrow is going food shopping at the Farmer's Market then Garou then Mabon then party. The next day is another Garou session, and maybe I could get it done before that, but more likely there's Garou stuff I should be working on. Then Monday I have school and NIN. Sure, not all of these things are bad, but I just want to stop, to break, to have a moment of sanity where I'm not rushing from one thing onto another. Time commitment after time commitment.

I could handle this if it just weren't for the HUGE fucking interruption of massive money stress, things designed to fix that problem, as well as the addition of another class three weeks into the fucking term. ARG.

It'll work out in the end.

Fuck, I left my agenda at my parents'. FUkck fuck fuck.

Written On: Arts Lab Computer