Stability
Originally Uploaded here by afeman
How's the romantic life of Chris? Nothing new. I officially am afraid of emotional upheaval, of instability. I need something firm to plant my feet on now. My writing feels like it's unravelling, like a ball of yarn having fallen off my knees and rolling away from me, perhaps batted playfully at by a little kitten. It makes you smile, but you're frustrated at what you'll have to deal with after the cute moment is over.
It seems you manage to be functional for a few weeks before you fall again. Maybe instead of trying to be 100% functional 100% of the time and then end up failing, maybe you should try to be 80% functional 100% of the time.
Yesterday I wasn't feeling so hot, so I tried to take that advice to heart. I should have stayed at the parents' place, I have a much easier time being dysfunctional there. I should have put on Sin City and watched the first half for the who knows what time. Instead, I headed home and tried watching House of Flying Daggers, but failed. I had this gross feeling of something being wrong. I had the exact same feeling on the day that Amanda broke up with me.
Lo and behold, in my e-mailbox, something arrived to justify my feelings of anxiety and dread. I'm going to try and keep my head on straight, not totally freak out, but my continued existance in the Honours program is now officially tenuous.
Written On: Home Computer
Currently Listening: Thievery Corporation - Heaven's Gonna Burn Your Eyes