Kurrs' Digital Tapestry of Words

School is winding down and many other things are winding up. In all of this is a sense of uncertainty, of unknowing of even my own desires. What exactly do I want? For now, precautionary principle reigns supreme, like a benevolent dictator. This was sometimes a paradox, but the time gives it proof. I did love you once. I couldn't do it, couldn't utter the deception to ease my own pain. Hamlet might, and while we share an unfortunate number of characteristics, I rebel against that one.

The truth is I love you so much. So many things sit in there, in the attic of my psyche, alongside it. Pride constricts around almost everything I do, giving it the illusion of a spine made of metal, but really it is just a pragmatic construct. Designed to fulfill the same function. I wish I knew if I wanted you back, I can barely manage to communicate with you, I'm so paralysed by uncertainty. It cascades over to the rest of my life, even though we never see one another.

And yet, there is so much that needs doing. Pull myself together, and stare at the sun. Be awed and striken by its majesty. Look upon the barren earth where humans claw at the dust for subsistance while we priviledged few bemoan our fates of wealth, affluence, and ease. Humans crave a certain amount of suffering, uncertain of their being alive without it. Mine shall come from ambition, not heart-ache.

Written On: Home Computer
Currently Listening: Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark
Currently Eating: Whole Wheat Wrap w/ Refried Beans, Basmati Rice, Que Pasa Salsa, Clover Sprouts, Cheddar