Talking Around Things
Originally Uploaded here by WomanChild
For no real reason, I miss Dominique something fierce right now. Maybe it ties into how emo I'm feeling today.
The last few days haven't exactly been productive... or cheap. I've done some pretty amazing things (two plays, two dinners costing more than $25), and have more amazing things planned ahead in the next three days (two more plays, one opera). And it falls on the tails of an absurdly productive time period, but when you run off raw adrenaline for over a week without eating or sleeping nearly enough, when you crash you really crash.
A few things need to be done today. Buy a few copies of The Untold Crimes of Insomniacs, set up my printer and print off some receipts and welcome letters, finish writing the welcome package for the Vote With Your Dollar Fair, and move all the latitude and index data into excel and maybe even run a few regressions. Then I need to run off to see my surrogate brother for dinner and then watch some blood, uh, I mean shakespeare.
...
You inform so much of who I am, it's writ across me like we might have been cut from the same cloth, even though we weren't. I want to write about how I still love you, about how I see me in you as well, tropes of motion and speech that still make part of you mine. I want to write about how beautiful you are, and about how it's entirely likely that I'm proud of you, even though I don't know enough to actually have an opinion. What I don't want to say is that I have a hunch, a pressentiment, about your future and if I'm right I'll cry myself to sleep for weeks. But I'll get over it, and it's likely only a handful of people will ever be the wiser. I wish I could see you now, have some part of your life, your present. I know that there's still alot between us and I wish you'd acknowledge that, it would make interaction so much easier. But you don't and you won't, so all of this seems like complaining water is wet, and that's probably why I'm putting it here, instead of actually speaking to you.
Sometimes silence is easier.
Written On: Home Computer
Currently Listening: Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark (song d/l)
Currently Eating: Spring Mix Salad with Gala Apple, McLennan's Cranberry Goat Feta, Raisins, topped with Little Creek Vinaigrette.