Kurrs' Digital Tapestry of Words

Originally Uploaded here by *Christine

Written On: Home Computer
Currently Listening: Outkast - Hey Ya! (song d/l)

Posted by Kurrs at 9:46 AM | Permalink

Originally Uploaded here by Hugo*

Knowing something will end doesn't save you from the pain of it's ending.

Written On: Home Computer

Posted by Kurrs at 12:06 AM | Permalink

Originally Uploaded here by er1danus

Well, I'm single now.

Written On: Home Computer

Posted by Kurrs at 12:09 AM | Permalink

Originally Uploaded here by joseph_bolt

You are still radiant, soft and fragile. The complementary juxtaposition of your sharpness only furthers the metaphor of you as bowed instrument. Not like a weapon, but rather more like a string, only dangerous when broken. My heart still catches in my throat when I see you, and no matter how predictable, I still didn't expect it.

Some things never change. One might even say, most things never do, we just alter our perspective. This is not to demean the power of perspective on our lives, but more to point to the immutability of underlying concepts.

I have a headache, thankfully, it is not a migraine.

Written On: Home Computer
Currently Listening: Yo-Yo Ma - Bach, Cello Suite 1 in G, S10 (song d/l)

Posted by Kurrs at 12:36 AM | Permalink

Originally Uploaded here by incredible joy

When I usually put in 16 hour work days, today has this touch of surreality that I can't shake. I'm not even sure I still know what the words day and off mean together in the same sentence. Last night, other than running a rehearsal for the production, I hung out with a girl of singular beauty. It came at the end of a very harrowing day, with disease, hatred, exhaustion, and emotional impasse being on the menu du jour. She ended up crashing and we talked about the freedom/restraint that comes from work/school, exclusive emotional connections, the complexity of sex and love, and how I'm not single.

I slept in until almost noon. I almost want to crawl back into bed. Maybe I could go grocery shopping or something. Really, I'd like to curl up and read with Dominique in the sun, but my busy schedule often precludes me seeing the girl that haunts my thoughts with such frequency. Either through unavailability or lack of planning.

Written On: Home Computer
Currently Listening: Lauryn Hill - When It Hurts So Bad (song d/l)

Posted by Kurrs at 12:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Originally Uploaded here by Virginia G

I saw the vehicle that draws lines on the road as I passed by Main and Second at one o'clock in the morning. It struck me as eminently fascinating and beautiful, as if I was watching some zen calligrapher participate in the strange alchemical rites required to hold a city together. Like seams for a dress. They even moved along slowly, and the white struck the ground with the force and grace that I imagine a brush of that size would were a giant writing kanji. The man at the helm, old and precise, the only one they let do something so difficult to undo. I liked it quite a bit, even though it lasted for a mere moment.

I saw her again, crimson and brown, black and flowing. She stepped out of the sun as it was setting, much like I imagine faerie princesses should. She doesn't disappoint, last time it was wings in the middle of the day and today it was upon a beach. What else should I expect? We lived together where faeries were born, only for a moment, in the falling decrepit remnants of the heart of that once-great kingdom. She walked right towards me and we spoke. It shattered inside me. I resisted the urge to tell her how I still loved her, after all this time, after all the silence. Instead, we spoke about what I did, and barely touched on her life, other than I'm very busy. I suppose it was appropriate, what with it being the solstice and all.

Written On: Home Computer
Currently Reading: "Dreams Underfoot" by Charles De Lint (still reading GEB as well, which I have borrowed from Juggler)

Posted by Kurrs at 1:04 AM | Permalink

Originally Uploaded here by 3amfromkyoto

I'm tired, dirty, broke, and sore. I'm sunburnt too, and it's my own damned hubristic fault. Unsuprisingly, the health practicioner was right about a health issue. Sometimes I see very closely and intimately into the ways of my former lover, no matter how unsuccessful it was or how lesbian she might be. Anger runs deep when it is ultimately directed as the self. Even betrayal, the one that slips me into fury beyond all reason, might spring from the thought of I hate myself for letting you.

I spoke of the end of the world recently, and the tone of arrogance and presumption that replied to me made me lash back. Assuming you can know or be comfortable with the end of civilisation seems like self-deception I cannot abide by. I lashed out, and it was said to me Why worry, at the end of things, you'll be fine. I know, and I hate it. I love the civilisation that keeps monsters in check. In the end, I might have to follow the end of things because of how little I would love myself or anything else in that new world. Perhaps I would have the strength to start something new, but I would remember the magic of light upon screens and the equality that technology brings and I would weep nonetheless. Post-apocalyptic paradise my ass.

I had a wonderful exchange with a beautiful woman recently, one that was so eminently reasonable that I could grin from ear to ear about it for a while. A bit of my thunder was stolen by Ah, I see, so you're capable of really functional sexual interaction with those you don't sleep with, but the kind of maturity, kindness, and respect that flew around gives me hope for the possiblities of sexual dialogue.

Perhaps I should have left it untitled.

Written On: Mother's Computer

Posted by Kurrs at 9:29 PM | Permalink

Originally Uploaded here by Églantine

Written On: Home Computer
Currently Listening: Sweatshop Union - Breath (song d/l) Warning: Awesome Hip Hop

Posted by Kurrs at 11:01 AM | Permalink

Originally Uploaded here by steevil

The Vegan Pirate opened yesterday. It was a bit of a "mad dash we weren't planning on opening but we should because it's nice" so we didn't open until pretty late in the afternoon. However, it was really fun, alot of really cool people came to visit, and we made a bit of money, and, all in all, was a pretty awesome first day. Oh, and there's some awesome photography that came out of it that I will upload when I have a moment at home.

Today is a pretty big theatre day, first week of rehearsals (last week was read-throughs). Means I'll be at it for quite a while. Should be good. Hopefully the sun will come out at night so that I can open up the pirate again tomorrow.

Someone will be by to fix my fridge on Thursday. About ruddy time.

Written On: Mother's Computer
Currently Listening: Imogen Heap - Headlock

Posted by Kurrs at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Originally Uploaded here by Martin Isaac

Megali commented on it, she even saw it in photography. The unerring eye of my surogate sister saw it written across even my still life, musing to herself that she didn't know I liked her. That sick feeling in my stomac continues to sit there, after the fact, and has all the baggage of a break up. Not like the ending of a well forged and mutually beneficial agreement, instead it has that ugly of "I want it to work, but it can't". Unsuprisingly, I didn't even get sex out of this one, my romance seems unwilling or perhaps unable to be burdened by the inclusion or exclusion of that in regards to my relationships. Sadly, I seemed mostly unaware of it at the time, but I can't claim complete ignorance before the end. It is necessary, it cannot be undone. Think you me now a villain, you have no idea the depth of it. In that tearful moment, I knew that I couldn't explain what I was, that the full tally of my acts would simply have created a rage that bordered on homicidal. Bordered?

My fridge remains broken, and it leave me unstable and frustrated. Hopefully, this will get better with time, and repair. In a similarly practical, I hope to pick out my cello on Tuesday with Alexandra, who was my cello instructor. This is exciting and means I will probably own it within the next little while.

The Vegan Pirate should be opening on Wednesday. Even if the weather is so-so, as long as it isn't raining in the morning, we'll kick this pig and get it moving.

I like Bob quite a bit. That one is more random than the previous points. But not at much as the last.

When I first read that username, I thought it meant a bag of martinis.

Written On: Mother's Computer

Posted by Kurrs at 12:35 AM | Permalink

Originally Uploaded
here by organ splitter

Posted by Kurrs at 10:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Originally Uploaded here

That wasn't very hard.

Patmeister and I were hanging out. He's done something with his hair that makes him more attractive than he's ever been. I can't decide if it's made better or worse by the fact that a military barber is going to cut it like grass shortly, because a fleeting element to beauty is intoxicating, but I think I'll stick with "funny, and slightly disappointing". I hit him, once softly on purpose, and then once hard less so. We were joshing with each other, and I smacked him. He questioned my ability to actually hit hard and next thing I knew he was flying back and his glass had flown out of his hand, smashing on the pavement. I've been hit harder, but that was pretty hard. I felt kinda bad, and then, at the same time, I really don't. Don't worry about it, I totally had it coming.

I cordially dislike our society's perspective on relationships. This mythic aggrandisation of sexual relations over others, this Significant Other, Partner, big R relationship garbage makes me more and more sick as time goes on. Not enough attention is paid to the insidious aspects of this paradigm, most notably the marginalisation of non-sexual or, possibly more accurately, non-romantic relationships. What if I love you? What if it hurts me that we can't talk anymore? Why does it matter less?

Written On: Home Computer
Currently Listening: Evil Nine - You Are Not Through

Posted by Kurrs at 10:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Originally Uploaded here by stonelucifer

It's Langski, with an i.

To fully delve into the amount of work and money and time spent or lack of sleep and food received would be both ridiculous and mostly pointless. Suffice it to say, things are super awesome. I definately want to drive less (death by car accident wouldn't be so hot) and I'll be glad when things settle into a slightly less maddening routine and when I'll actually be making money (hohoho, wouldn't that be cool?) but this life rocks. Starting a theatre company and business at the same time might be madness, but hot damn it's rewarding.

I feel like writing beautiful things about certain women. I will put aside time later to do so. It is, after all, one of my favourite hobbies.

Written On: Mother's Computer
Currently Listening: Imogen Heap - The Moment I Said It (song d/l)

Posted by Kurrs at 1:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Originally Uploaded here by yancs

The Vegan Pirate opens on Friday, officially. I spent six hours last night driving appliances around town, after my rehearsals, and watched the sun come up while doing it. I took an hour and a half nap at about seven am before hitting it again. It's twelve hours later and I'm considering another nap.

Last night was crazy. The rehearsal went wonderfully and gives me alot of promise for the production. I then moved out my old fridge and in my new one. Tim left, Piotr arrived, and I realised a conundrum: it seems the apartment's fridge (not the one I own) is broken. So... to move my fridge to the food storage location and not have a fridge, or have a fridge and not have food storage for the concession stand. Well, without food storage I don't get money, and without money a personal fridge doesn't do me much good. Obvious downside is that I now don't have cold food storage at home. My landlord is on it, probably sometime in the next few days, but until then no eating it.

We almost got into a car accident too. Completely not my fault, not even remotely, I was driving through a green light and a taxi cab just didn't notice the light was red for him. Despite the fact that Piotr's IBS was acting up, he still said that, all said and done, the night was still going well because we didn't t-bone another car.

We bought over five hundred dollars worth of food today. Man, it looks impressive. I mean, seriously.

Written On: Home Computer
Currently Listening: Portishead - Roseland NYC Live

Posted by Kurrs at 7:49 PM | Permalink

Originally Uploaded here by TRJA

I'm tired, I've been up since one am, which means I'll have been up for twenty four hours shortly.

The opening of the Vegan Pirate looms close in my mind, and while I wait and wait for my permit to get back so we can start selling, there still doesn't seem to be enough time to get the last few things done. Maybe I'll be able to pull it off, magically, although I'm not certain how everything fits together yet.

The first read-through of Untold Crimes of Insomniacs is tomorrow and I'm positively giddy at the idea of hearing my wonderful wonderful cast read it. The mind positively beams with the possibilities it brings, the new perspectives, the new life. I will be spending most of tomorrow sorting that out.

I saw a girl today whom I had seen before. Her hair was brown with dreadlocks peppered throughout, different colours poking through. She wore a rather hipster outfit, black, studded belts, with deck shoes and hipster shades. Then I noticed the shoes were worn and dirty blackspots and not chucks. I almost threw caution to the wind, and struck up a conversation. Hey baby, I couldn't help but notice you were attractive and interested in ethics, only worded in a manner as to be not intrusive. But I didn't, I don't do that. I'm still sorting out why, but precautionary principle reigns and I'm happy with that.

I think someone mistook me for gay today. Like, honestly, not-bisexual, not-interested-in-girls, gay. This is bad for my sex life (as I am far from an even split), I should fix the behaviours that send these rotten signals.

Don't worry, I'll still own lots of shoes.

Written On: Home Computer
Alternative Title: Post-Migraine Babbling
Currently Reading: "Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid" by Douglas R. Hofstadter

Posted by Kurrs at 12:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Originally Uploaded
here by tmak

I got a migraine today, or yesterday, whether you take midnight or the sun as your point of reference. I still have that weird taste in your mouth you get afterwards, like the iron from blood without any of the crimson aftertaste. Like you decided to suck on a frying pan and you have washed your mouth out but the taste lingers. I can't think of another way of describing it. I managed it well (went into a dark room right away, went to sleep right away, etc), and it didn't hurt much at any time but I'm still amazed at how completely debilitating they are. Piotr was there and he tried to make conversation, but all I could manage is saying Conversation is rare now or some such. Leave it to me to spout more and more cryptic things while struck down with illness.

Y^2 is on a plane now, happily jaunting over the Pacific, hopefully asleep instead of vomitting. She hits China, then Ottawa, then Halifax between now and September. Three months invested, three months gone, the timing is almost impeccably perfect. Strangely, she left me behind a gift before leaving, a man paid for in metaphor. I'll keep this one I think.

With my tails back from the dry cleaners, I plan to make my mask for The Masquerade today. Long nose, gold, with feathers is the plan. Should be fun.

I have an overpowering desire to talk to Erin right now.

Also, as a complete aside, I love my mother very very much.

Written On: Piotr's Computer

Posted by Kurrs at 2:04 AM | Permalink