Devoid
Originally Uploaded here by Oldvidhead
I wrote an entry on my laptop. It felt strange, anachronistic. It lacked poetry, although it did have some interesting content. I haven't uploaded it yet, and I might not.
There is a part of me that wanted to go with you, much like there was last time you went fishing. Don't get me wrong - even though it seems I was - there are chinks in my armour now. But underneath is way too precarious right now for anyone to venture into. I want to tell you the truth, to explain the reasons why I avoid your obvious offers. However, it would only make things more uncomfortable, so I keep quiet.
I saw an unbelievably beautiful woman today, for a moment. It is almost certain that the unbelievable nature of that beauty would fade if I spent any time with her. Fleeting is into itself beautiful, even in the absence of obvious unattractive facets that would inevitably come up.
I don't want anyone but you, but I don't want you either. I suppose I'm single for real now. Just emotionally unavailable. Strange, it's been nine years. The unposted entry explains that one better.
The play opens in a week.
I'm tired.
Written On: Mother's Computer