Fear of Being Alone
Originally Uploaded here by hundun
It isn't quite like loneliness, which is the lack of a particular person, a void that requires filling. Instead, it is a sense of maladjustion, a desire for stability that other brings.
A mere week ago, I made four promises, four things I would not let break, despite the litany of random events I have had to contend with. Already, it seems I have guaranteed them. There is solace in that, not stability but definately solace. I may end up making it five, and may manage to slip away to Shambhala, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that one. I very much want to go, but the threads that hold my web together are fresh and thin. They will probably require vigilant maintenence. Not to mention the future is decidedly unsteady, and will require some focus in the weeks to come, on top of everything else.
Inside me, there are stories to tell, analogies of fictional waters and sand. I will write them down eventually.
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