Kurrs' Digital Tapestry of Words

You have forgotten me, moments of passing consideration perhaps, but your life began to move past mine years ago. Still, to me you remain the most beautiful, the most desirable. A near-perfect combination of weaknesses and kinks, preferences and ideals. I couldn't be the father of your children, due to desire and timing: an all-consuming combination of incompatibility.

Things are, in many ways, astoundingly good: I am blessed beyond most reasonable calculation. But it is not enough. My immaculate machine has begun to fall apart, and only my insanely robust safety net is making it bearable. I must fix this, anything less and I would lose immeasurable amounts of respect for myself.



Currently Listening: Burial - Archangel (listen)
Written On: Blackberry

Posted by Kurrs at 9:58 PM | Permalink

Originally uploaded here

I had thought I could make it work. It was such a majestic opportunity, given way more than I normally would have. It was not a question of worth or right, but merely one of institutional rigidity side-stepped. The fruit was low-hanging, and the orchard had room to grow, it seemed, despite the strange strings attached, too good to be true. It was. Now, I've got to rearrange, in scarcity and torment. I'm not doing a very good go at it, but the gears are turning: hopefully the machine will produce the will and the way.

I love you, fiercely and intently. I could cradle you in my arms, and watch my words weave pleasant shapes through your mind. I could quietly absorb your narrative, understand and forgive your faults, and fuck you until the sun rose. But it is not meant to be.

I'm tired and burnt-out. Things, except for the obvious, are quite good. I just want to let my mind stretch across the sky, and forget. Not actively, but passively, spread so thin as to be transparent, invisible.

Currently Listening: Sally Shapiro - He Keeps Me Alive (Cadence Weapon mix) (listen)
Written On: Home Computer

Posted by Kurrs at 1:10 PM | Permalink