Emotionally Irresponsible
I can't help it.
Stars. There were stars there. Patient but persistent adoration, cut short by presentiments of betrayal. It was hard, to have the sun turn towards me, only to be removed. My prophecy complete, she had broken my heart.
And then, strangely, she came back. Irreconcilable differences being, I suppose, irreconcilable. Suddenly, what I wanted and more, was tangled around and through me. She loved him so very intensely, with such maddening certainty, that I assumed I would be forgotten. One should avoid assumptions.
I can't see the stars anymore. It is lovely, she is lovely, but I can't see the stars. I shouldn't proceed forward like this; it is dangerous. My heart is an open wound once again, like it hasn't been for five years. I should hold my cards closer to my chest, I should perhaps lie or at least omit a bit more than I do. But I can't. It's not in my nature.
A cold clammy feeling overcomes me. The scales aren't balanced. Perhaps it will end unceremoniously and I will gasp as I choke on what remains of my ability to love. I'm tired, I don't want to write tragedies anymore. But if so, then such is life: there are many endings to many stories. Regardless - for these fleeting moments - I will hold her like the world is ending. And, if perhaps only for a few weeks, I will be happy.
As much as I can.