Whispered Before Bed
You are so insanely well put together. Your face alone is unstoppable: how anyone can stand before white skin, black hair, pale green eyes, and a crooked nose I will never know. The rest of your body, darling, as they say in the parlance of our times, banging. And the sly glances, the nervous smile, the posture, the mannerisms, none of them seem out of place and all of them wrap me up in you. But it would be too weird, I cannot bring myself to ask, no matter how much I want. I would be then a number, insignificant. I would rather watch you from afar and maintain my delusion of uniqueness.
You, I cannot pin down. I think, perhaps, because you haven't pinned me down. You shift from scrawny to matronly, from seducer to girl next door. I can't keep track of your persona, your masks shift too completely and without pomp or circumstance. I think, perhaps, if I ended up with you, you might actually matter to me. Which makes me want to vomit blood. I cannot take it, the loss, the rejection, it is too much. Even once every four years is too much. If it happens, it happens, but I think I will tread water until you move on, no matter if you haunt my thoughts or not.
Written On: Home Computer