The Naviverse

Well, things didn't go exactly to plan but they went well regardless.

The parade was amazing. The costumes were wonderful and the atmosphere, intoxicating. The procession was filled with people who were enjoying the eerie yet positive mood. The performers were wonderful, both in the procession and afterwards. I am actually thinking of being a part of it. I want to talk to some of my 'fire jam' acquaintances first though but from what I saw it seems like it would be an awesome experience.

After, plans changed and I visited Chris and Erin for a while which was good. I think I more needed the more mellow night. It was a nice ending a very wonderful night.

I liked being behind the mask I was wearing. I liked the different looks I received from people. Most gave me a passing glance. Some looked at me and held my stare. I could tell, there was something more behind their eyes. For some it was fear, others it was simply uneasiness and self-consciousness, a few even had a look of guilt. Two smiled, they understood. A very intense experience.

My house is empty.

Posted by Navi at 1:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Today is a day filled with halloweeny goodness. It's starting off with work, during most of which I will be helping small children carve pumpkins with their parents. Yay. Then I get to help clean up.... I'm going to be so sick of pumkins.

Then I'm off to the Parade of Lost Souls with many people where I am wearing the mask I somwhat touched up yesterday. It looks rather cool and I am quite impressed with what I did with it even though I added very little. It's going to be full of fire and fright. I'm excited.

Then to Patty's Midnight Murder Mystery Dinner. That shall be exciting. Hopefully I won't fall asleeep during the middle of it. I am acutally trying not to take my medication, partially because I don't think I need it anymore... we'll find out, and partially because I would like to have glass of red wine.

I hope Tim is ok.

Posted by Navi at 9:21 AM | Permalink

I think one of the greatest feelings I can go through acomplishment. Specifically when it concerns getting tasks done. I am a habitual procrastonator and tend to push things back as far as possible. Today I managed to catch up on all the readings for one class I have and only have to prepair a presentation for my tutorial tomorrow (which I will be promptly begining after I finish nursing my way through dinner). Tomorrow is planned out too. I will be preparing all of my notes and analysing a poem so I can write an essay on it on monday (as my weekend packed with work and festivities). Go team Planning!

Posted by Navi at 8:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I watched the eclipse today with an old friend. We talked about the past and our plans about the future. We sipped hot chocolate and took pictures as the shaddow passed over the moons face. I was cold and at peace. I was sore but still in a state of happiness where pain didn't matter.

I need to do more. More that connects me with nature and the things I believe in. Sickle is coming soon but that isn't quite what I'm getting at. I'm partially going mad by my inablility to get anything acomplished (as I keep falling asleep while doing homework and distracted during simple tasks such as laundry). I can blame that on the drugs I'm taking but placing blame does nothing. I finally have some 'spare' time and I want to be functional with it.

I also have a house that will be vaccent for about a week and a half (as my parents are going to alberta to watch my brothers hockey team continue to fail in their attempts to play well), and mom will be returning as I'm leaving for sickle. I want to get something done in that time. Finish painting my room is one of the things on that list but another is do something ritual-like while I have an empty house.

If anyone wants to come visit me (way out here in the boonies) you are welcome in my home. I would probaly appreciate the company because I don't plan on going to far.

PS. Mouth update, the problem I have is called 'dry socket: http://www.calweb.com/~goldman/dry_sockets.html <---explains it all

Posted by Navi at 11:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I don't know what my body is trying to do to me but it's incredably painful. I'm currently at school trying not to pass out because of the pain in my mouth, jaw joint and ear. I think I allowed it to get infected or something but, as a result, I didn't sleep well last night, and I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open, I can't talk or eat without pausing to let the pain subside, oh and I have to give an oral presentation in about three hours. This is not a good day. I think I'm going to swig some more salt water and see if I can find something I can nibble on. Then take a nap.

Grr. I had so much stuff I planned to do today too. Bah.

Posted by Navi at 1:16 PM | Permalink

Strangely in pain. More jaw ache than anything. Not so cool.

Yay for garou stuff. I like two hour long conversations about it. Anyone know much about carving a mask and what (and what not to) make it out of?? I have some carving tools that my grandfather left, but don't really know how to use them...

If anyone has any suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them.

Posted by Navi at 10:54 AM | Permalink

Well, Friday I had my wisdom teeth taken out. It didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought I would be, with the exception of the first day.

I decided, because of other dental surgery procedures, that I would be put to sleep (though not completely knocked out), so I didn't have to deal with the blood and pressure etc. I slept through basically the entire thing and woke up feeling drunk, which was especially nice when I got to sit in the massage chairs to help me wake up. They told my mom my instructions and we went home.

Things started ok. The semi-communicative hand gestures and scrambles to find a piece of paper were fun while I waited the hour for my freezing to ware off and to take out gauze. The hour passed and I took out the gauze. I believe that was one of the most painful experienced of my life and it had me writhing in my chair. After I managed to calm down, and swallow several mouthfuls of blood, I got some drugs into me and waited 20 mins. for them to start working. An hour later, after the last of my freezing wore off and the pain killers had kicked in, I decided to try eating something. My mom, being the lovely person she is, went to get me some miso soup from a fairly good, local Japanese restaurant. I had a bowl of it, which went rather slowly and messily, and was feeling pretty good, proceeding to take the rest of the pills I needed to be taking (just for those who are curious I'm on Ratio-Oxycocet for pain, Dexamethasone for swelling, and Novo-Amoxin an antibiotic).

Things were ok for a bit and I was still hungry so I started the second bowl. After getting about half way through, I started feeling not so good. Keep in mind this was the only thing I'd had to eat or drink all day (it was about four or five in the afternoon) with the exception of a little water. I stopped eating and was feeling a bit warm. I decided to go upstairs to bed and only made it 3/4ths of the way. I tried to make a dash for the bathroom in my dad's room but didn't quite make it. After the initial shock that I had just puked and had made it the rest of the way to the bathroom in case round two was coming, the second wave of the most excruciating pain came. Stomach acid + Fresh surgery wounds = uncomfortable. So while my mom cleaned up from my previous mess (she's so awesome), I laid in my dad's bed trying not to scrape at my mouth or hold my swollen cheeks. At least my stomach felt better.

When I was able to move, I grabbed my duvet a pillow and asked a few requests from my mom (like my pills and water and a bucket, just in case). We both laid down in the living room and watch (or slept through) Finding Nemo and I ate and managed to keep down some Jell-O. At about eleven-thirty I took my last batch of pills and went to bed.

Did I mention how much I love my mom? I'm going to get her some flowers tomorrow. It's a small token but she really likes them.

The next day was much better as I dropped down to one pain pill a dose and I actually got to eat some real food (I had some pudding, Jell-O, some spinach and artichoke dip, some mashed potatoes, some salmon (mmm protein!) and some ravioli. ).

It was funny because I didn't really think it was as negative an experience as it sounds. Honestly I expected much worse with the exception of the searing pain in the two instances. Overall I was content and can't wait to be able to eat fully again. :D

Posted by Navi at 3:07 PM | Permalink

Well my wisdom teeth have been extracted. I am currently about forty mintues away from drugs and removing my gause. Wee.

I hardly remember any of it except when I woke up for a bit and they gave me another shot.

It took two tries to get my IV in though...

Go team three kinds of pills I get to carry around for a week.

*Clenches jaw some more*

Posted by Navi at 3:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

23hrs and 11 minutes until I get my wisdom teeth out. I will be grumpy without my breakfast. I just hope that I don't have a stupid reaction to the substance they are going to be pumping through my veins *knocks on wood, specifically her forehead*

On other news, I realized I'm a planning genius because the weekend of sickle I will have no homework left so long as I can keep up in my readings. I'm very proud of that... now only if I could find the procrastination button and flick it into the "off" position.

I survived yesterday. Thank the God/desses (Thank you Patty, I like that word), that I had many small children to distract me. Hailey and Dylan are awesome. It was not comfortable though and I don't know why I have so many issues with it when I'm faced with that kind of situation, specifically when I'm ok whenever they are not around. Well, maybe more like surviving then ok. *Note: yes this is an ambiguous and specifically targeted entree. If you really want the full story, ask me. Chances are I'll tell you. *

Excited about the trip to the gallery in three hours. It will be nice to see peoples again and get to actually go into the art gallery. I don't think I've ever been. Heh, when I told my mom that's why I wasn't going to be home for dinner tonight, she said, "You're turning completely urban." I laughed my ass off. It’s very much an insight into my growing-up/changing life-style. I'm getting farther and father away from the constricted life I had and I like it. Fire eating still freaks her out and for some reason that makes me amused.

Posted by Navi at 4:02 PM | Permalink

What a crazy weekend. So packed with stuff.

Thursday was awsome. I got to see Rick and Cella for the first time in a long time and we watched Dune (of which I also am now borrowing a copy). I also got to give Rick his birthday present which I'm happy to say he liked :D

Friday basically didn't exsist as I consisted of school, homework, work, sleep (though not much).

Saturday was loooong but awsome. I worked from 6am-3pm (on five hours sleep). Then I did homework and went to "Check Your Step". It's probably the best party I've been to for whole package awsomeness. The music was so awsome it made it hard to not dance too (as my knee was killing me for some reason) and even harder to leave but sleep was winning and I had to drive home. *Drools over the speed garage and jungle* soo much bass! It was a fun night.

Worked the next morning four eight hours and then went to fire. I learned an important lesson. Fire eating in the wind is difficult and shouldn't be done. We ended up eating fire at Daxxes house. I've decided I'm going to start using white gas soon. (Alcohol really does taist horrible). It's not so difficult to work with... I'll just have to get used to it. It was with this that I did my first tounge transfer. (For thoes out of the know, this is when you have two wands, one on fire one not, and you light your tounge on fire than light the unlit wand with your now flaming tounge. It was awsome. I did it a few times, Daxx was my witness.

And now I must get down to the homework I've been neglecting for the midterm on Wednesday. Not to mention the two presentations and an essay I have in two weeks It looks like this is going to be a fun week. *sigh*

Oh and I'm getting my wisdom teeth out on friday (just to add to the weeks excitement). Here goes.

Posted by Navi at 12:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Posted on FNK:

*shivers in the likeness of an orgasim*

So much good and I had to be broken for all of it. Stupid knee. I have now mastered the art of floor dancing.

Pegasus... well, I still love you.

Shouts later (and what a short list it is).

[QUOTE=Scot E]I'll be the one with a bag full o bass ;)[/QUOTE]

That was a big fuggin bag.

- That was the general feeling for last night... more about it later... first work.. then fire.... *cackles*

Posted by Navi at 11:44 AM | Permalink

The essay is printed and sitting beside me and expectantly waiting for me to staple it. I know this. Now I have two presentations and a midterm to deal with before the end of the month and one more essay before sickle.

I am squirming in anxiousness for Hekatees Sickle, a pagan festival in the states that Angus and Rick are a part of. So needing a festival that is ritual heavy because I have gone through the semi and non-ritual based festivals. It's time to get to business... hopefully Hermes will be nice to me that weekend... but I doubt it lol.

Jen, as is my cousin Jen, if you're reading this tell me if you and the family are going to Mexico this Christmas... because I can't... *pouts*

That reminds me, my favourite relative is coming to visit me fairly soon. My grandfather is coming up from Mexico to visit and get his cancer check ups dealt with as well as celebrate his 50th wedding anniversary with my grandmother. Sooo excited. He's such a cool guy.

Fire is over coming me. I think I need to go for a hike or a nature walk soon... *pokes Mark*. Anyone who would like to join is welcome... it won't be very long because I'm old and out of shape, but a walk somewhere and possibly a picnic would be really cool.

Back to fire, I want toys. must have toys... My plans are to get some new fire wands (more like yours Daxx), fire palms *giggles with glee* and the wicks to my poi (quite probably last as I keep hitting myself in the head with tennis balls). Going to try tongue transfers soon, probably on Sunday.

My friends are getting better!!! I like this recovery thing. *Knocks on wood*

Quotable quote from Rick yesterday on the topic of me telling my mom I'm pagan:

"You came out of the broom closet?!?"

Posted by Navi at 12:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)

Hmm.. only nine more go to ... YAY!.

It was a long road but it's done and in one day too. Now all I have to do is edit it.. if I can stay awake long enough... I think I'm going to find a place to take a nap. I can't even read it without wanting to fall asleep... gah. Going to bed early tonight.

Posted by Navi at 2:40 PM | Permalink

Everyone's worlds keep exploding. I am surounded by a bunch of human volcanoes and I can do nothing to help any of them.

I hate, HATE, feeling helpless. I want them to be ok. I want them all to just be ok.

Posted by Navi at 3:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

*bounce*

Posted by Navi at 12:31 AM | Permalink

Hmmm. I am thankful for many, many things but I think the only way I've managed to keep sane through my life (though not incredibly tragic, messed up enough for me) is my friends, every one of them. To know that some one(s) still care about be, even when I do some stupid stuff, is so comforting and makes me incredibly happy. Thank you guys :).

On another note, I find myself singed. My bottom lip is somewhat burnt making spoons a bit of a problem but oh well. And, my middle and ring fingertips on my right hand are a tad sore from transfers (yay ice), but they're getting better at it so it's good. Fire eating is awesome and the fire palms will be almost as awesome. Both are so seductive it's great. It's when the pixie in me really comes out. Fucking Leo.

Posted by Navi at 12:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Physical and emotional exhaustion are beginning to overcome me. Weee!

Friday night was, something. It was both incredibly good and not at the same time. My head felt kind of numb by the end of it and I guess that was both a good thing and a bad thing. Always the impossible.

Four hours of sleep later. Work... stupid work.

Directly after that, a wonderful Moot. It was the perfect balance of funny and mellow. It was also very short which actually got me two hours sleep which helped. I'm proud; I got to hold a moot position. I was the truth-catcher. So good. Yay Flashing Sabre.

Anyway, it's bed time (yes I know it's nine in the morning). I have to be up at two so I can paint, make something like food and play with fire...

Good.... morning... I guess.

Posted by Navi at 10:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

So it's dumb, but someone told me to name my Poi (this being a raver/pyro toy that is basically a tennis ball (or eventually Kevlar wick) that is attached to a chain and a handle so you swing it around in fun ways). So Ragabash (aka Mark) and I were thinking. I have one hand that is functional and quite good at this, my right hand, and one that is incredibly inefficient and continually causes me to be attacked by the tennis ball (which has a nasty metal screw and nut on the end of it), my left hand. Hence the name:

Dex'nsin

or Dexterity and Sinister.

Here are some definitions courtesy of Dictionary.com:

Dexterity:

Skill and grace in physical movement, especially in the use of the hands; adroitness.

Sinister:

- Suggesting or threatening evil: a sinister smile.
- Presaging trouble; ominous: sinister storm clouds.
- Attended by or causing disaster or inauspicious circumstances.
- On the left side; left.

Wow I'm a looser.

Posted by Navi at 8:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Today taught me something that somewhat disappoints me. I really don't know how to have a 'serious relationship'. I wish I did. Then I wouldn't have to go through all the issues I recently have. This exploring and making mistake (over and over) really sucks. Why can't I just fall into it? Why am I not able to really think in the future and come up with answers that have "maybe" attached to them or that I can actually foresee happening. I feel like such a child. And I sound like one too as I am essentially saying "I wanna grow up now!" I don't like this. I feel so behind (considering I know two people I graduated with who are getting married next year and many others who have been in two or three year relationships). Considering the disastrous relationships I've had in the past, save for one, I'm not surprised I'm stuck in naivety but it doesn't make me like it any better. I guess I need to find someone who matches with my amount of 'maturity' (gah I hate that word) in relationships so I'm not pushed to far forward to fast.

But this will wait until I've finished figuring my self out... at least a little bit.

Posted by Navi at 8:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Due to the ever stacking amount of homework I seem to be acumulating I am house arresting (or homework arresting) myself until I have caught up. I will basically be working, going to school, doing homework and occasionally painting during this period and the only acceptions are the moot (and possibly nobilis if need be), firejams and hanging out with derek for monday morning tea.

If you want to get a hold of me, pm me on bb, e-mail me (as I will be occasionally checking these) or call me. I will be kicking myself of msn so I'm not tempted to sit there and waist away my time staring at a computer screen. I might just go crazy with this. Weee!

Fire good, water bad, embers beautiful.

Posted by Navi at 11:52 AM | Permalink

Skating makes me happy. I completly washes out my mind and works like prozak.

I did a double flip today for the first time :D That really made my day.

If anyone wants to come watch me, I'm getting to do a night session (it is late but I could give you a ride home) from 11:10 to like almost midnight... for free cuz the iceman loves me.

*Happy sigh*

Posted by Navi at 10:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Roads

Oh, can't anybody see,
We've got a war to fight,
Never found our way,
Regardless of what they say.

How can it feel, this wrong,
From this moment,
How can it feel, this wrong.

Storm,
In the morning light,
I feel,
No more can I say,
Frozen to myself.

I got nobody on my side,
And surely that ain't right,
Surely that ain't right.

Oh, can't anybody see,
We've got a war to fight,
Never found our way,
Regardless of what they say.

How can it feel, this wrong,
From this moment,
How can it feel, this wrong.

How can it feel this wrong,
From this moment,
How can it feel, this wrong.

Oh, can't anybody see,
We've got a war to fight,
Never found our way,
Regardless of what they say.

How can it feel, this wrong,
From this moment,
How can it feel, this wrong.

- "Roads", Portishead

This is the song I am writing this entry to because it feels appropriate.

I am very unsure of what I should be feeling at this present moment. I don't know how I'm supposed to take things and I don't know how to express them.

First off I really don't want to change anyone's view of Colin but something has to be said for the sake of my sanity and justification of the things going through my mind at the moment. Part of this is conformation that it is ok for me to be feeling the way I am because I really don't know. This has never happened to me before.

Here's the deal:

Colin broke up with me two and a half weeks ago on the weekend. He said that I wasn't around enough for him and it was depressing him. I understand that and agree with it. I tried to be around as much as I could but with the distance and our conflicting time schedules it made that very difficult. He said he still loved me but he'd have to get over that. I agreed. I was devastated in many ways because I had just gotten back to a point of really being able to get back into this relationship after it hit some very rocky times. Before this point and this conversation I thought things might have been ok. They were not. Before I left he told me he still wanted to be friends and I was welcome to his house anytime I wanted (to kill time between classes as I had a couple of video games there).

So I left his house that day and landed, thankfully, into the arms of friends where I was able to cope with the event that had happened not a half hour ago and not just withdraw myself completely and become incredibly depressed.

I, a couple of days later wrote him a letter (this was not a strange thing and actually something I really like to do to get all my thoughts out). It didn't get mailed until the weekend, which was my mistake, as I could not get myself to a mailbox before the next weekend to have it probably arrive on Tuesday.

Not that it seemed to matter.

It has been brought to my attention that Colin waited a week (on the dot apparently) before getting into another relationship. First off this was not told to me by him. This somewhat angers me. And I thank the Gods that he did mention it to me because, after I had been told a week after his match-up, I wanted the rest of my belongings that I had left at his house.

I have never been through I more emotionally painful event in my life, save for one. Not only were they going out, but she had basically moved in the same amount that I had after two months. She had toiletries there (and apparently had taken the liberty of using my hair brush in my absence, and I don't know why this angers me so much), and enough clothes that I had to dig through them to find the case to one of my video games. I packed up my stuff as I possibly could and had to severely suppress the urge to destroy the place. Irrational and I think I might have if I hadn't had the warning of her presence. I left his key on this PS2 and tried to decide whether I was more angry or sad as I left (hoping I would run into his Mom or step dad in the process).

Today I have found out who this person he is dating is. I have met her, a few times. She is a girl in cooking class. They have been hanging out since nearly the beginning of the semester. I was ok with that. When I met her I thought she was really nice. We had dinner together, her, Colin and Colin's parents.

Explaining the circumstances is the easy part but the things going on in my mind are just to knotted. I will find out the answer to this question later tonight but, fuck, how long has this been going on for? Did it start when we were still dating? Due to the rapidity of his current relationship I'm fairly forced to say yes. And that simple fact right there, if proven correct, completely destroys whatever good those four/five months I spent with Colin held. It was one base on a foundation of trust and honesty. And they seem to have meant nothing in turn making the relationship worth nothing.

Even if this is not the case I still feel betrayed. Is it possible for one to instantly stop loving someone? Because he must have... either that or he didn't love me at all and lying is something I thought we agreed on as something that should not exist in a relationship. Apparently that meant nothing to him too. God, he didn't even have the courtesy to let me come down from this let alone tell me.

But, do I have a right to be upset? I mean, from that Saturday when he ended it, I was no longer part of that area of his life. Am I allowed to be unhappy about this or am I being stupid because I have nothing to do with the situation anymore and I shouldn't be mad at him (unless he was cheating on me).

Trust. That word keeps coming back to me. That is something that I find vital to a relationship. I give it unconditionally when I've decided I want more from a person than friendship (and occasionally sex). I trust them to tell me what's going on in their head and their heart. They can keep any secrets they want with the exception of those concerning me, especially their feelings of/for me. I know I have the right to this information. I just don't know.

I DO NOT FUCKING KNOW.

Anything else I'd have to say about this right now would be repeating myself. My stomach is growling despite the fact that I have lost all appetite but if I plan on skating tonight I need it. And I need to skate, I need to do something.

Again, this is not a bash against Colin. All I want to try to understand is if the feelings I have are legitimate because I really don't know and I'm not really expecting an answer from anyway. It just needed to be said, in one piece.

Posted by Navi at 2:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Seething.

Does anyone have a PS2 that I could borrow for a bit after the school semester is over? I want to finish my final fantasy games when school is over.

Posted by Navi at 4:48 PM | Permalink

I don't really know how to start this entree, no, wait, I do:

I'm, really, pissed, off.

My greatest pleasure right now would be to have a very large axe and a tree that is at least ten feet in diameter so I could hack the living shit out of it. I want to punch a punching bag until my knuckles are bleeding and broken or I tare a hole in it and the sand spills out. I want to drive, fast.

It makes no sense and is rapidly making me jump to conclusions that I really wouldn't have ever thought I would have to venture into. I don't know how I'm supposed to react to this. Should I be angry? Should I be indifferent because I'm no longer part of the situation? Should I be sad, disappointed, happy... The list goes on. I just don't fucking know. And I'm not going to be able to confirm any of this for a little while. Specifically until Tuesday. Keys shall be returned tomorrow.

I’m so very disappointed for two reasons. One, he didn't tell me himself, two, no one else told me sooner. Now, I understand that it's none of my business at this point in time but the fact that it was hidden from me makes me unhappy. It makes me feel like a fool, for so many reasons.

Then again, the only reason I think upset as I am is because I'm jumping to conclusions, and I hope to the Gods that it's not what I think it is.

Posted by Navi at 2:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

*shiver*

RAVE! RAVERAVERAVERAVERAVE!

Sooo good. I went to the Kregasus party with Tim last night.

Holy dina havn't danced that much in sooo long. The Craig was so good. D 'n B that just sounded wonderful as I milled around with random friends and danced the night away. We got there at 1 am ... we had to wait until four for Mike to come on. That was brutal but we made it... 4:20 on the dot. We could only stand up until 5:00am. Metal (with a genuine mosh pit), rap, old stuff new stuff, all to a jungle beat. It was amazing. And now i'm exhaused because I've had five hours of sleep and my cold is coming back... boooo.

I was proud, I had almost a dance battle but not quite, as we were both dancing at the same time, with a guy named Dustin. He gave my dancing "skill" a complement. Talk about being able to make an awsome night better. I blushed.

Sigh. The night ended with a Jungle mix of "Loose Yourself" by Eminem.

*Shiver*

Ok time to go to work now....

*Shiver*

I must do this again and soon.

Posted by Navi at 12:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

"Dancing in the moonlight
It's caught me in its spotlight,
It's alright, it's alright, the moonlight
This long, hot summer night"
- "Dancing in the Moonlight", Smashing Pumpkins

Very, very mellow at the moment but feeling like, if provoked, I could crush some random person's trachea with a blow courtesy of my fist. Work somewhat angered me in several ways. People can be so stupid. I repress so much I could be saying to my co-workers and they just randomly go off on me and make a lame excuse later. Why can't people just swallow their pride and say what they mean, even if it's "I need help because I don't know the answer to the question."

Homework needs to be done but I just can't get it done. I have to force myself to do it because I need to or I'm going to get horribly behind. My first essay isn't due until the 15th but I'd rather have it done on the 10th at the latest...

I guess I more need a place to study and get work done that's somewhat easily accessible. Anyone know of any other nice coffee shops, other then Turks (though it will function when I'm at SFU taking the break of doom (that lasts five hours... ugh).

I need to go get my clothes packed or something.

I need change.

I need control.

I need a hug... or a slap. Either or would do the trick.

At the very least some music will suffice. *Plays Dancing in the Moonlight one last time*

I wish I had an internal sound track. That would totally make my day. That and wings.

Posted by Navi at 10:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I can't decide if I like ends or beginings more. I think it's more leaning towards beginings because they have many relations with innocence, clean, unused, adventurse, excitement and anticipation, the unknown, mystery and expection, dawn...

Endings remind me of experience, bitterness, regret, bordom, resolve, giving up, defeat, relief, rest, about four other r words, death, devistaion, unhappiness, memories, sunset.

There is the theory that all ends are just a means to a new begining. What if that's not the case? What if there is only a certain amount of beginings that may exsist and in order for them to exsist, another begining must end.

I want to go watch a sunrise soon, bundled in a blanket, holding a hot chocolate and sharing it with someone I care about. Just being content in the moment, completly scerene, as if the world was on hold for just that few minutes.

Posted by Navi at 1:27 AM | Permalink

New computer!

New Blog!

Life is wonderful!

Timmy continues to rock my Kazbaa!!!!

Welcome to the blog of Navi

Posted by Navi at 3:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)