The Naviverse

Things are interesting. Good and bad.

The apparent dispersing of clouds was a fake out and only a glimpse of sunlight before the clouds managed to cover it up again. I'm still 'blah' but it will change soon.

Capoeira still has my heart. and saying goodbye to Bohasha before he left for Japan was sad but at least I was able to amuse him with some fire eating. That was the most awesome fire eating experience ever. They brought a drum outside and everyone got their shoes on (like thirty people) and came outside in the rain while I set up my fuel, fire and wands. The drummer started up and the began singing one of the many capoiera songs that it seemed everyone knew. And I ate fire, on the street, while people looked outside of their stores and the pub down the street, and a group of friends sang for me. It was one of the most powerful experiences I've had in a long time.

The rest of the weekend was good and mellow. I did a lot of work with my cards which makes me happy and have had a new cd that Tim made for me. It also had my heart.

Rick did some energy work with me as well. Yay for energy homework, the only kind of homework I'm ok with. Much thanks to him be for that.

Today I also was filling out my Spring Mysteries registration form. I made some decisions and I'm excited for them, though nervous, but the more I think about it, the more it feels like the right choice.

Now I'm off to read at an evil coffee shop because that's all we have here in the suburbs. I can't wait until I move downtownish.

Posted by Navi at 7:43 PM | Permalink

Wow. Things are really awesome right now.

That pesky grey cloud has just seemed to dissipate and I've been left with a whole lot of sunshine both in literal and metaphorical senses. I'm feeling like the pseudo-pixie again and I always forget how much I miss it when she goes away.

Things are rapidly becoming awesome.

In school, not only have I managed to catch up in the classes I was almost a week behind in, which was two out of three, I am now ahead by a week in two classes and am planning on continuing the trend. I don't think I've felt better about school as I do right now.

Capoeira is making me a very happy girl. I got my uniform yesterday and I love it. It's so comfortable I'll probably wear it around the house, the pants anyway (and they all come from brazil so I don't have to worry about them being evil.) At the moment my legs are sore and my feet hurt from running around barefoot but it's so wonderful to be active again. I'm going again on Saturday to make up for the one I missed last week and am going to a Good-bye party/talent show/fundraiser for the tsunami relief later that night and I'll be doing a short presentation of fire eating for the talent part of it :D just for the guy who's leaving, who I can hardly pronounce the capo name of. (He’s been my instructor three times now though). Very much looking forward to it.

I realized that skating is really over. It just doesn't hold anything for me anymore. I mean I love being on the ice but that will probably more be me dragging a couple of people to a public skate and just feeling the eyes again. A wonderful chronicle of my life is finally going to close after almost 15 years.

Games have been blowing my mind. I don't think I've ever done better then I had in Garou on Sunday and Wrapped in Grey yesterday. There was just an immense amount of awesome and everyone has been making that world possible for me to be able to immerse myself in it. Thank you everyone!!! Pack games galore!

Things are good. I miss them being this way.

PS. Thank you for everyone who put up with me, supported me and kept me doing during that incredibly long down time. I couldn't have gotten through it so well with out you guys.

Posted by Navi at 2:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Wow, that was cool. I the post I posted today registered as Sunday because I started and saved it on then.

Game was INTENSE. I actually had to go away from everyone else and check myself to make sure it was my character trying not to cry and not me. (thankfully it was simply the character). That was good. Bad but good. I'm really looking forward to the pack games that are going to come out of this.

*JUMPS* no really, I'm going skating again for the first time in two months tomorrow. That's going to be a scary thing. Though this is going to be the last session I'm registered for (well, I'll be registered until the middle of March). I came to the painful realization that skating, although I love it, doesn't hold a challenge for me anymore. I'm going to miss it and in compensation may drag random people to public skates so I can get a bit of my life force back.

School is ok, even though I'm behind in my readings, that shall remedy itself soon... like tomorrow. Classes seem to be interesting and I think I'm going to get started on some of the projects/essays I need to do. I might as well use the time I have productively.

*sigh* Well, dark clouds have turned to grey clouds but they still linger. *swats at them*

Posted by Navi at 12:28 AM | Permalink

Well, Garou today. I'm incredably exctied but nervous too. So much to do and so much coming I think my head is going to explode. This game is going to physicly and mentally exhaust me. *Swats at the butterflies*

The avitars rock :D Tim is t3h awesome.

Work has been grating on me. It's been too slow in the department and people are usless. Oh and on of the Ass. Man's (I've wanted to use that for a while now) can go to hell. Thursday I was incredably sick and didn't call in sick for the sole reason that I knew they would not be able to get anyone in to cover closing in paints so, despite the fact that I was exhausted and if I said more then five sentences consecutivly I would begin coughing continuously for five mintues (and in some cases, had to excuse myself from the conversation to calm down enough to finish the conversation) and would have the same thing happen if I did any high amount of activity (paint cans can be heavy). I had worked four hours and was ready to fall down. I worked rather hard to have the department very clean and ready for the opener the next morning. I ask Paul if I can go home. He tells me that if I do twenty mintues of hard packdown. Then I almost started crying. I did what I could and eventually got sent home by my favrote Department Manager Dan. He's awesome. And then I got to go home and sleep. It was a good thing. Dan is my hero. Why do people have to be so stupid.

Posted by Navi at 9:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Time for another nap. If I'm actually going to be able to attend the two out of school/work activities I want to, thoes being Capoiera and Garou, then I need rest, even if that means doing it in a darkish corner of a bench at SFU. I'm starting to get used to naps, though they have proved to be a very large waist of time. It just kills me that I don't have enough energy to clean my room when I want to. Though today has been better *to bad it has to be spend staying awake at school... so ironic*.

Tim. I'm planning on invading your house on Thursday afterish, class (which ends at 2:30). A small bird has told me you are working that day... any idea how long?

And are there any volenteers to kill time with me until Tim is nolonger working (for going home would be stupid and I still don't have a key for the new locks... grr)?

Posted by Navi at 12:44 PM | Permalink

Wow. I'm sick.

And it's in my lungs.

I have become exhaused and sore from caughing. I cannot swallow unless it is followed by a drink of water, or more caughing. I could not hear out of my left ear for most of my shift at work, from which I left for home an hour and a half early. I've had a fever.

The weekend rocked and had many good points to it, though there was a half time show of immense unhappiness which has apparenlty been 'swept under the carpet'. There is much good to look forward to in the next week and I think I want to have a voice through it.

I think it's time to sleep.

PS: "You're talking to paper clips." - Donivan, the Duke of Glass, to B. Bartleby, Esq.

Posted by Navi at 10:08 PM | Permalink

Bukem was awesome. All three DJ's were awesome but not to crazy hard which is what I needed. I would have died if it was heavier. Such a good night.

Halusia will be full of angst today (more then usual) becaues I can hardly breath without a major coughing fit, let alone talk. This should be an interesting game...

*Where or where has librarian gone oh where, oh where could he be?*

Posted by Navi at 9:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Well, the show went pretty well, asside from the few spot fires we had and the lack of Daxx's candle working therefore using mine. Oh well. it still worked well and was fun. I had two video tapers, Jay and Megs, whom I thank dearly for thier services :D

Thank you to Eugene and everyone else who came to watch us. It made me feel uber speical.

Oh and Tristian talked to me..... that was .... unexpected. He's drawing me as an anime charactor in somewhat of an exchange for me making him a shirt. Maybe that's why he's still talking to me.

Posted by Navi at 9:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

It's cold in here.

I should be sleeping. I'm tired but I can get sleep later... after I come home from school.

I don't like this feeling. It's lonely, isolated.... It makes no sense. There are so many good things happening in my life right now, more then I thought possible, and even more amazing, there are very few things contrasting with this positive swing and those things are rather insignificant.

But I still have this feeling creeping along my skin, pausing only to feed by sucking away my energy and forcing those things that compose my happiness into an insignificance that makes them useless.

I have been easy to upset and that is very strange. Small things and occurrences have been setting me off as of late, things that normally wouldn't provoke any strong emotions in me. A friend told me that he hadn't eaten in two days and I had to excuse myself to the bathroom because I was on the verge of crying, and did so once I reached solitude. That has been the only time I actually broke down but it wasn't the first time I had to keep myself from crying in front of others. I don't cry often.

The loneliness that seems to cling to me seems insatiable. The need for human contact and comfort feels so insistent I think Tim's starting to get hugged out. The worst part of it is even though I receive the gesture I crave, it fills a separate category and I leave the experience still hungry. It's terrifying.

I want to cry. The feeling is present but the counter feeling that I the tears will be empty, void of purpose and feeling still lingers. So they don't come. And I feel numb.

I have a long day tomorrow and must get up in less then five hours. I think sleep is required to heal my burnt mouth and possibly this stupid funk. This is two in two months and I don't like that at all.

I just want it to end...

Posted by Navi at 2:21 AM | Permalink

Many good things to happen in the next twenty four hours!

First I'm going to have a bath to relax me after my awesome Capoeura class. So haply exhausted and I DID A CARTWHEEL, which has a different name that I can't remember, but this means my shoulders aren't too screwed, just somewhat screwed.

Then I will return Timmy's drum. I wish I actually got to use it. Oh well, Patti's was still fun even though everyone bailed. And I get to hug my plutonic boyfriend cuz I miss him.

Then I'm going out to see my hero daxx and get/try out my brand new fire wands :D I'm very excited. They sound so wonderful and yeah, they'll make me happy.

THEN, I get to pic up my body painting set pics :D they're finally done :D I'm also going to be arranging/discussing modeling sets that don't require me to be painted with my photographer Trevor.

THEN I GET TO SLEEEEEEEP!

Then next day I work from 7am to 4pm which is the only bummer, but after ..... PACK GAME OF DOOM/BRILLIANCE! It's going to be, as Chris would put it, INTENCE! I can't wait.... It's time to start not smiling. Come on key word!

At this point of time I'm the epitome of that which is the excited pixie.

Posted by Navi at 4:58 PM | Permalink

You scored as Fall. You are FALL. You appreciate all that you have, and are willing to share with others. You are a friend in the truest sense of the word, and can easily focus your attention on those who need you, placing yourself on the back burner. You make sure your responsibilites are met before you allow yourself free time. Fall 85% Summer 65% Winter 60% Spring 55% What Season Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

Posted by Navi at 9:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Well, things are ok.

I had a wonderful day Role Playing last night. Tim and Bevan had a sceen that I was a part of but mostly just witnessed that blew my mind. There were so many powerful lines it was insane. And there was a moment of weekness in my charactor that was just awesome. Ashley has some wonderful one liners that just made us fall down in stiches... or have to leave the room during a sceen we're watching. So good :D

I need to learn how to stop smiling when the sceen gets really good. I keep having to hide my face so it doesn't look like I'm smiling when I'm really not suposed to be. Ryan and I thought of cutting the corners of my mouth so it would hurt like hell when I smiled and that would classically condition me to stop it, but I don't think I would like the scars. I just need a key word that will kick me into the *no smiling zone*. I'll figure it out (though suggestions are welcome).

School looms over my dear like a blinding shadow, obsuring my vision and creating a dark mood. I just don't really want to go. I would rather continue working for a bit and just relaxing for a semester but that would only get me farther from my goal of finishing school indefinetly which is what I really want. At least I have Derek in two of my classes to be my savior from the horrors that are Milton and BC Lit.

Capoeira is a new interest that has caught my attention. It's a brazilian martial art that is done to drum beats and music. It's absolutly awesome to watch (and is one of the origins of break dancing). I'm excited as my first class will probably be on Saturday. *I blame Hermes*

Fire eating on Tuesday! For all of you who don't know about it:

-------------------------

9pm @ Shift at The Lick (next door to the Lotus, near Tinseltown).

Modified Fusion

hosted by Dj's Casperella, Europa, Kaine.

Designers:
Sarah Korba
Moonware Leather
Caperella's Anti-fashion

And A Guest Appearance by The Fire Salamanders of Vancouver:
daxx_freedom
& tao_of_quinton (angus)
& excitedpixie (me)
Who will be eating fire for us.

There will also be demo piercing for wings & full body suspension.

--------------------------

It's going to rock. I need to practice for it tomorrow and the next day. Wee. I'm only a little nervouse. So far.

Patti's birthday is tonight and that will be fun. My hands will be sore from drumming. I think it will be an alcohol free night.

I've been having a really hard time looking into peoples eyes. I don't know why, it's just hard. I can't do it and when I do it's very rarely. It's very weird.

The snowflakes are pretty. I think I'm going to make hot chocolate tonight, maybe add some bailies to it, and chill with Simon and all the drunk people. It should be a good day today.

Posted by Navi at 1:34 PM | Permalink

So, I have a fire eating show in a week and I need practice.

To practice I need a spotter to make sure I don't manage to turn myself into a pile of ashes.

Any volunteers to be a fire tech for me in the next week?

Bribes for service can be negotiated.

Posted by Navi at 12:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Garou was awesome. It's going to get even more awesome and more scary. The next few weeks will be great.

Tim, Rick and my Atlantis costumes were awesome :D The night was a blast and it stayed relativly sober. Having a version of Hermes on either side of me was fuggin' amazing.

The world is goodish. Sleep is required. See you all soon.

Posted by Navi at 5:01 AM | Permalink