The Naviverse

i'm being assulted by spam agian.

Everything is weird. There isn't really anything that is completly comfortable. There's always some quark or some stray thought that creeps its way in and begins whispering in my ear. I want to make it dead. What i perceieve and what is said differs so greatly that it makes me want to cry or run or laugh; it just makes no sense. Why spare me? I'd rather just know.

I think I need to go camping. Camping with one person for like five days near a body of water that we can go fishing and boating in where I don't care what is going on. Something like my excursion to Mexico, where all I did was forget until the moment hit me and thinking was again ok. I made my decisions and delt with them when I had returned, but not a moment sooner.

*tangent* I was only doing what I was told. The arangement worked out in all angles but I should have listened to that small little voice that reinforced my idoicy. I'm ok but others are not which somehow cancels my okness out. I want to help... I want to block things out, i keep things blocked out. I don't like things like that.

Sin is a wonderful place. It allowes you to break *as tim says*. Small fractures that are barely visible shatter to mosaics on the floor. My feet were black, my hair slightly frizzlled and my head was spinning by the end of the night. People are sexy. People shouldn't be so sexy. It makes life difficult.

I'm tired and Tim needs to call me soon or the conversation isn't going to happen. That would be unfortunate.

I can't think anymore... i'll elaborate on this more later *much to the dismay of tim*.