The Naviverse

If it wasn't for the fact that I knew it was going to be over by the beginning of April I would already be dead. The constant level of stress and the lack of anything that I really want to do without feeling guilty is only quelled by the fact that I know it will be over soon.

I'm already emotionally unstable. I want to cry at everything, the good and the bad. I'm not supposed to be feeling like this for a month and a half. I appoligize if I just turn around and start crying on your shoulder in the next month. It hasn't happened yet but I've been damn close to it (and no you wouldn't know it because it usually doesn't make any logical sense).

Now I begin the second essay of the season. It's the second one in a list of abotu 20 (four of thoes being 10-12page research essays that are all due within five days of eachother, that will be a bad time). I'm procrastonating while Andrew is in the shower or else he would be forcing me to actually be doing work ;P.

Well, I guess I should get started.

Maybe I'll be alive enough to write an entree when I'm done this shit.

Later.

Posted by Navi at 9:27 PM | Permalink

I don't feel it. There should be at least a little amount of release when I finish one task. All I can think about is the avalanche of work that is left to be done. I don't even give myself a victory gift of a special food or time to myself or time with others. Any times thoes things happen, I just feel guilt because I'm not doing the rest of the stuff that I'm supposed to be getting done.

There is the faint hope that this is going to at least slow down enough to get some time to myself. Not nessasarly time by myself but time that isn't being dictated by the mountain of paper that constantly looms over me.

There isn't even time for me to get to the ocean. Andrea, we will go to Steveson soon. I hope. I need it. Just the salty air that clears my head and reminds me of the many years I spent rocking to sleep in a boat, looking for crabs on the beach, running in the seaside forrest through the paths along the dried up creak. I can't even go there anymore. It was the most beautiful place in the world to me. And it's gone.

Well... talk about digression.

Its time to get stuff finished so I can find myself again. I can't beleive that this is going to go right up until smf. Gods I have work to do. I dislike this robot life.

Posted by Navi at 1:55 PM | Permalink