We will be very good friends in time. It will never be enough but at least he will still be in my life.

It wasn’t worth it and I am going to have to live with that for the rest of my life.

I still, forever and always, will follow him into the dark.

I realized that I didn't have a plug to plug up the tub so I used a measuring cup to block the water. I'm not telling you which one.

Michael is coming to visit me after. This makes me happy. I'm in the mood for company.

Yesterday it dawned on me. I'm moving in two months. It's weird. Really weird. The last time I officially moved was in 1995. I might actually get to move some of my stuff in. Equally strange. I've gotten so used to living of the essentials and a few non-essentials that just having some of my stuff around is going to be weird.

I feel like I should be reading as opposed to contemplating weather or not I should be flipping through flickr to find photo's I've taken that are really pretty and are going to go into the beautiful photo album that my grandmother gave me as a graduation present. If anyone would like to send me their choice picks my flickr is http://www.flickr.com/photos/navi/.

This is probably not safe.

I still want to hit things. I need a job as a demolitionist.

I might go out and stay out today, instead of hibernating at home.

I still feel like hitting things but at least I'm not going to anymore.

Time to clean off and begin prepping for the night.

I'm brain fucked. I have been thinking so much that I'm throwing myself into frenzies on a moderate basis and having to bring myself back from them. It's very strange having to convince myself that I’m not a completely horrible and inadequate person. Maybe I am and haven't noticed. Its unpacking a lot of the things that I had buried way in the back of my mental storage unit that I really would preferred stayed in there. At least then I could forget about them. I hate being a perfectionist, even if I'm a lazy one.

I am hosting mabon today. There is so much to do and I just want to curl up in a ball and be isolated.

It's sunny today.

Today is work and then I don't know. I'd like to go see Angus for a bit but I actually need to being watching my money closely. If I'm going to get anywhere I need to plan well and keep myself from over spending. This is going to be bloody difficult.

The word for today is Bloody.

List of things to aquire:
- New Zero 7 album
- Jose's Solo Album
- Two more chairs
- 1 Million Dollars (I think this one might be a tough one).

To work I go. Fair ye well.

At least I'm in a good mood :D

Winter is rolling in already. What a short summer. I'm back to sweatpants and a hoodie in the morning.

I think I will be making french toast this morning. I'm hungry. Andrew is home sick today. He'll be bedridden but I'm up for doing something with people at some point today.

My new job is an interesting place. It's busy like me. I'm already making dents in it. I cleared off the mountain of stuff from the desk that just needed to be marked down, reduce tagged or hazmatted. It was all clean. Apparently their night crew is beligerant as my old store's was, only more so. This can be dealt with but I might need a large rifle. *This could be fun!*

Zero 7 on the second. It's my dad's birthday that day. We'll do dinner later. ZERO 7! I'm so very excited and Andrew is an amazing person!

I'm learning. Slowly I'm learning.

My room is clean, so are all my clothes and sheets.

My kitchen is clean... er.

I have candy

.. and popcorn.

Andrew is here.

He's playing with photos.

I can't complain.

My knuckles hurt.

I don't know what to do.

It was bloody amazing. So many people, so much music, so much relaxing.

I agree with Tim. Music is much more then pretty sounds. The new drums help us get that bit closer to Ekistasis.

Dragon + Water + Log = Ass Over Tea Kettle

New old friendships were found. I have a list of people who I want to get to know better because they seem like amazing people whom I simply hadn't mannaged to get close to. Old friendships found their equilibriums again and I'm going to try like hell to keep them that way.

Those who weren't there in body were there in memory or spirit. Shambhala is one of those events that I wish I could show everyone I know and have them enjoy it as much as I did. It is almost comprable to a paradise (minus a few exceptions) where you can leave your wallet behind unlocked cloth walls and how have to worry about having it stolen. It reminds me of the society that I want as opposed to the society that I have.

I enjoyed being den mother. Making sure that everyone is safe and content (or even happy) and helping to fix problems as they come up. I like taking care of people.

Brillant weekend and I can't wait until next year. Candyland will be awesome!