An Internal Monologue

I can't say that I've been more content with the state of my LARPing life than recently. The simple amount of stuff going on has been staggering, but I can't recall a single moment of it in the last month or so that I haven't found incredibly rewarding. Now if only I wasn't so very stressed and frustrated over my own LARP at the moment, everything would be perfect.

Garou... well, what can I say? I spent three weeks costuming, creating, thinking, and backstorying my latest character, and in one session I've managed to surpass my personal bar for in-character performance in that LARP. Yup, I surprised myself with how overwhelmingly deep the character was, and it felt damn good. I'm back to the good ol' Silver-Eye days of character connection with Quest's End. I sincerely hope this character survives for long enough that I can explore him more completely.

Wrapped in Gray. Now here's something I've never seen before. Immersive on levels I have never experienced, but somehow still completely disconnected and absurd. I guess that's what happens when you're simultaneously roleplaying an Archetype and a normal person, though. In my opinion, what makes it so special is that it allows for such wonderful contrivance. People can create the stories they want to be part of, and the group of players are all very good about wanting a great story more than personal success. Plus, it doesn't suffer at all for having no system whatsoever. Marvellous. And I'm gonna be playing it within the next 15 hours.

The Camarilla. I never thought I'd actually be looking forward to playing in it. A fresh start, people that actually seem to be concerned with it working in a fair and balanced way, and whom I know personally enough that I can whack repeatedly upside the head if they stop being so vigilant. Plus I ended up randomly hacking up one hell of an interesting concept. In administratively good news, it looks like we may just have the Camarilla and the Non-Camarilla LARPs playing ball with each other for scheduling. That would be grand, and perhaps serve to clean the whole traditionally ugly relationship between the two groups up a bit. I'm not holding my breath, but it's no longer a complete pipe dream.

*Shudder* And then there's Nobilis.

Now, I'm very conflicted here. On one hand, I really feel like there's a lot of great stuff going on -- stunning characters, and a great set of stories to tell. On the other, I've totally dropped the ball here. And not in some sort of practical "just pick it back up" sort of way. Let me get more detailed:

First things first, the Execution. This is where I think I've messed up the most, and also where I think the least could be done. The first story, coming to a close in the next few months, is the very first longer-than-one-session Nobilis LARP ever run anywhere. None of the players have ever played Nobilis before, and the setting is mammoth. This means that important concepts and themes have been tragically passed over due to the "learning curve" of everyone experiencing the world for the first time.

Second, the plot -- due both to the [often brilliant] actions of characters and my own throbbing head -- has become absolutely labyrinthine. This isn't really a problem, considering that now I have fuel to keep burning in perpetuity. No lack of ideas here. It is incredibly frustrating trying to sort this all out, however. I've created a base outline of the background and the first story, without any real detail whatsoever, and I've broken the 500 word mark. This terrifies me, and I sincerely hope I have the tenacity to work my way through it, because it's necessary that I do if I'm to continue running it.

...We'll skip ahead to where I've dropped the ball...

It's been pointed out to me that plot in my LARP works like an Iceberg: things happen up top, but a lot more happens below the surface. Now, there seems to be a lot going on above the surface (onstage, if you will) that has gotten many people running around and interested in doing stuff. This is great, and I appreciate it. However, I've neglected the people who do the important things, the little things that people don't really see but affect them all in mammoth ways. I feel like I've been putting them on the back burner because of the big movers and shakers in the world. This is a pretty crappy feeling, because without them the LARP would suck. And I really hope I can remedy the situation by the next session, so that they are keen to join the second story in June.

Yeah. I need sleep now. I'm gonna get cracking back at this outline when I've got some rest and food in me.

Good morning,

Tim.