An Internal Monologue: Two Popes Enter, One Pope Leaves

Do you ever wish that you were dying, simply so that you could finally say all those little things that you never could before? I often wonder about how great it would be to have such an overwhelmingly good reason to abandon all pretense and just say what you think needs to be said. But no. Instead I simply hold my tongue and wait, hoping for some far off day where people will be ready, willing, and stable enough to hear everything I have to say. I'd much sooner find another way to fully speak my mind than a terminal disease, but it's something that I'd settle for; right now, I'm eating at my own insides.

Sin City was fabulous tonight. The music was the best it's ever been, there were all sorts of nifty "Church of Sin" events (like the Pope-off!), and Matthew re-introduced me to JÃ¤germeister, my ambrosia of drunkenness. Oh, and of course the club was buzzing with the usual drama. I'm so used to it now that I'm sure that Sin would become some bizarre and unfriendly place if everyone were to put themselves together. After all, it's all about being free -- fucked up by all "normal" sense, but still an abandonment of expectations or embarassment. It's a place where some people go to dress up, be pervy, and have fun, while others go to be broken, look broken, and break some more. But where there's no pretense, these things are plain to see, and that is why I love Sin City. (Whoops... Honesty!)

I've been feeling a bit unproductive lately, especially with regards to school and roleplaying. Wait-- those are the only two responsibilities that I really have. *sigh*

The Nobilis Prologue went off with relatively few hitches this afternoon, thanks to me working straight-on for the 18 hours preceding it, and everyone for being so awesome. I'm still smiling. And Jay, the afterlife is NOT full of blacklights. Ass.

Well, now for sleep and off to Tea in 7 hours.

Maybe I'll post more, or maybe I'll disappear for another two months...
I'm mysterious like that.

Currently Listening To: Joss Whedon & Sonny Rhodes - The Ballad of Serenity