Bumps
Another day leaves me wondering. What is really going on? What am I doing? What do I really want? And why?
School is fun, I guess. I can certainly see myself accomplishing things that I dreamt I'd be doing, and that's a heavy weight gone. Nonetheless, it has this funk associated with it, this foul taste of "school" that follows it around, promising to rate everything I do with marks and letters. Hardly the way of the world. Actions and effort – good or no &ndsh; all have their own natural consequences in the real world. These stupid labels of achievement have their place, but here are just trappings of existing "in the box." I'm already looking ahead to UBC Theatre, and fearing that my respectable GPA may get dragged down in the next two years – being too tired stage managing, building, hanging, etc. to properly learn the technical terms for 16 types of hinge, or not handing in an exceptionally redundant and obtuse but large drafting project. I keep telling myself it's too early to worry, that I do it entirely too often, but I have no concrete proof off my positive achievements yet, in any area. All I have right now is a collection of more-or-less good classes, and 12 hours a week of rehearsal. 12 hours where I get to sit there and wonder exactly what my Assistant Stage Manager position exists to do.
Currently Listening To: Kidneythieves - Zerospace & Trickstereprocess.
^^These albums are cyberpunk... seriously. Like sex.