little deaths
I've been surrounding myself with my favorite people, allowing company and distraction to fill my mind, but I can't do that forever. The odd thing is that I'm perfectly fine in most ways, I'm not devestated or crushed. There's just this awful weight and sadness. I hate that I've let myself get into a situation where I can't be honest without both losing a friend and hurting someone with no blame. It's avoidable, but avoidance makes me unhappy, and I feel the loss of the relaxed companionship that comes with a good friend. I didn't see this coming and I hate it when I can't predict how I'll feel about something. Granted I was missing any real knowledge of the situation, but I still should have thought about possibilities more. The fact that I`ll be more careful next time just doesn't make me feel better either.
I hate how easily the wonderful things are covered with nastiness.