not quite the right cadence, but close.
It's spring. The rain pouring down, soaked in sun, erruptions of life, names of buildings and politicians and interesting new people emerging from behind masks.
Histories are odd things, especially when they coincide. A little exposition is enlightening, sometimes. Concentration is rewarded and it's pleasant to have a working conversation, I want to say again, but the skill of having a conversation with another person who's not intolerable at all is still a fairly new one for me. By working I mean something that I can't quite define at this moment.
I realised today, as I gave my director/group partner a run down of how he was going to make his idea work, that I've become much more efficient lately. I'm becoming the artist who can actually get things done. This makes me very satisfied. I think I've gotten better at what I do by trying to do things that I can't quite do yet, so screw all that 'stick to what you're good at' crap. I think I'll continue doing just what I please, thank you very much!
A few thoughts have been solidifying lately, swirling sediment gradually building into a recognisable shape. Looking at things from the other side has always been one of my strong points, so it shocks me when I'm blind. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm supposed to act against what, for me, feels so natural, but I'm trying because I remember the anger I used to feel when my boundaries were crossed again and again. The problem is the line between restraint and pretense. I won't put up walls, but lacking that, I'm not sure what there is.
The response I haven't done anything like this before is leaving my vocabulary. I'm glad. I didn't quite realise it at the time, but I quoted my professor/conductor from kwantlen, Dr J, today. I did the everyone else is busy too speech. It made me feel grown up and I giggled at the end which kindof ruined it I think. Two people deserve to tell me I told you so, but I'm certainly not going to tell them about it....well, ok, I might, but not just now.
I feel like hugging people, and there's a plant sale on the 14th. Things are good.