Random Thoughts

Walking home I really wanted to say some angry things. My emotions are super close to the surface right now in a way they haven't been, well, I'd say in a while but I think I mean ever before. They're there but they're not boiling; instensity without a single focus point, without the pressurized bubbling unpredictable sensation. I'm allowing them out, and it seems to be working; a flow in and out of anger, love, friendship, sadness - like breathing but less automatic.

I think I might be saying things to people that I shouldn't be saying them to, but it's hard to stop breathing once you start. Like my lovely new stompy boots, this new emotional state takes a little while to adjust to and I'm still working on the fine tuning. No one'll get hurt, and I certainly won't step on toes, but I'm not being careful with personal space - at all. I think the people who are close enough to me to be affected at all can take it though; you're all pretty awesome strong.

I'm going to eat and sleep. Tomorrow I get to play in my garden finally and celebrate the fact that I got a short little smidgion of communication - who cares if it comes with the information that she's fricking leaving for europe on the seventeenth, it's still communcation, yknow? Yeah. I'm pretty happy right now, and it's nice.