only waiting
I'm somewhat afraid to post again, what with the triple-headed monster of doom and all, but whatever...
Musical went well, managed to scrape together a decent reed about 5 minutes before we played, which was nice, there was much less crazyness this time, and much more laughter from the audience (yay little kids finally figuring out what the hell to do and most of their lines!). All in all it was a great night and it kept me in a great mood till I got home and realized how much trashy stuff I have to do. I am so. god. damned. SICK of course work. Even the interesting stuff does nothing but annoy me. I caught myself sitting in front of my 'to do' list and softly repeating IhatethisIhatethisIhatethis... not good. not good. Must finish these bloody courses. Must not give in to stupidity and tiredness.
In related news my art teacher's assistant is way too nice. This is the second (or third?) week long extension she's granted me, and she still sounds perfectly fine with it. huh. well, it really is good seeing as how I need to pass and all - I should do a bit more work on the dismal thing so she doesn't think (realise) that I just dashed it off in a couple of minutes before class. Poor dear, she's not nearly nasty enough to make it as an artist (one that gets paid, that is)
I've been reveling in my nastiness in non dramatic ways lately and it feels good. I really do miss people when I'm busy like this - I guess I can't really claim to be antisocial. Tomorrow I get to play more music, go to another of those classes and maybe, just maybe, I'll have time to make reeds and do some relaxed practicing for a change. Oh the luxury!
haha. If I ever allow myself to re-sexuallize the musicians I know...there really will be trouble.
I can't wait to go to capoeira next week - I hate missing it because I feel like such a slacker the next time I go. Ah well, can't be helped. Hmm. I wonder what colour I should tie my reeds with tomorrow...
and my mother says to me I don't know why I'm drawn to damaged people...
and I reply I suppose you just have to accept it and figure out what sort of damage you can deal with.