Old habits
There are times when even my understanding of how I work and why I like it that way doesn't keep me from hating the necessity of the harder bits. Reason doesn't factor into the emotions that rise but flows in later in the torrent of reactions that kick me into overdrive. Yes. We will get this done. Yes, I have more reasons than you. No, I'm not happy right now, but yes, I will be shortly.
I'm fighting my wiring so hard right now. I'm always terrified when things seem to be going well. Broken I can do...you can see where to apply pressure and bandages, or you can just continue to tear, but this? I have random urges just to abandon it because it's not hurting me enough to make my stubborn side kick in...or something?
I still think of you sometimes...I've never had someone be quite your type of crazy...I suppose I pushed you a little, but that's how I see if people can deal with me...I push them. I suppose you just couldn't take it. It makes me sad, because I think we would have been good friends if you hadn't run off so quickly.